Finding Our Love Again
by BritishSweden
Summary: THIS IS A SEQUEL TO MY OTHER STORY 'Do You Love Me'. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT THEN PLEASE READ THAT FIRST OR THIS WILL RUIN IT AND MAKE NO SENSE. Set a little while after the happenings of 'Do You Love Me' How will Dean fair when he is so vulnerable? Find out by reading the sequel. Rated T, once again, for Dean's dirty mouth! XD I hope that you enjoy it. xx
1. Without Him

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: THIS IS A SEQUEL TO MY STORY 'Do You Love Me?'. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT STORY THEN READ IT BEFORE YOU READ THIS BECAUSE YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!_

_Now I've got that out of the way I want to say... Heeeeyyyyyyy! It's been just over a week since the last chapter of 'Do You Love Me?' and I've slept a bit more and got some prompts written and I'm back with all of you guys! I've missed you!_

_I can't wait to see what you all think of this first chapter and I love every single one of you for sticking with me through this series!_

_I really hope that you enjoy this chapter and I'll see you all at my author's note at the bottom of the chapter! xx_

Chapter 1 - Without Him

_Come on Cass, you can't leave me... Please don't leave me. I love you Cass._

The words that he muttered as he held the limp angel in his arms bounced constantly around his head. He couldn't stand the pain in his chest that they caused but neither could he think of a way to get rid of it.

_Come on Cass, you can't leave me... Please don't leave me. I love you Cass._

They were relentless, never ending. Every second that ticked by without him made him more tired; angrier than he ever had been. He'd killed the son of a bitch that had taken his only love away from him but it wasn't enough to fill the void that had expanded inside him.

He just needed Castiel back. He needed to hold him in his arms and feel his breath against his chest as they lay together. He needed to hear him say that he loved him one last time; to say it back and see the blush extend across his cheeks and his eyes shine bright. He just needed him back.

_Come on Cass, you can't leave me... Please don't leave me. I love you Cass._

It still hadn't happened though. He prayed every single day and nothing would answer. Silence would float through the room that they once shared. Dust would settle on untouched jumpers that Castiel had once worn; ones that Dean hadn't had the heart to move. Everything about the room said death but Dean couldn't even begin to consider that he'd never see his angel again.

_Come on Cass, you can't leave me... Please don't leave me. I love you Cass._

Yet those words continued to echo around his head. Maybe it was because he hadn't let go but if that was the reason then they would never leave because Dean was never going to let go. He knew somewhere, right at the back of his mind, that Castiel wouldn't want him to be like this but he just couldn't bring himself to move on.

He just couldn't.

**OoO**

Sam saw what the death of Castiel had done to Dean and that, more than anything, was tearing him apart.

Everyday Dean would be worse. He wasn't sleeping; he wasn't eating and he wasn't hunting. Dean was strong; he'd lost many people but no one's death had affected him this much and Sam didn't know what to do. His brother was slowly killing himself and he didn't have the faintest idea what he could possibly do to relieve him of some of the pain.

Everything had been put on hold. The search for the horsemen's rings; saving people and Dean still wasn't alright. It had been 2 months 8 days and he wasn't better.

**OoO**

The loose grip that Dean had on the gun showed how tired and exhausted he was from crying; from being unable to sleep due to his own voice rattling incessantly around his head. It was all getting too much. About three days after Castiel had died he sneaked out the first time. Somewhere in the back of his mind he must have know that they'd never give him back. He had barely been able to make a deal for Sam the first time so he wasn't quite sure why he was trying.

He just had to. He couldn't be alone again. Not again.

That first time however, he was forceful and tried to negotiate but he had slowly tumbled downhill and by this point he was nearly begging.

"Dean Winchester," the girl said in a playful tone as she looked at the man stood before her. He was broken, that much she could see. His face was pale and sickly looking and his eyes were drooping shut even as he stood with a gun held in his cold and trembling fingers, "What could you possibly want?"

"You know damn well what I want you bitch," Dean managed to yell before he raised the gun and pointed it at her.

"Wow, someone's a little touchy," she exclaimed smirking at the man stood pathetically in front of her.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. I'll kill you!" Dean yelled his hand wavering with the anger shaking inside him.

"Yes I know full well that you will," the girl muttered strutting around inside the demon trap that Dean had drawn for her, "We do talk Winchester. I know what you're after and you know what I'm going to say."

Dean's face hardened but his eyes filled with tears. He knew that this was going to happen but every night he would still sneak out of the house to dig a hole in a cross road and summon a demon. It was ridiculous and he knew it but somewhere in his mind he thought that one day a demon would come along who would give him back his true love.

"Please," Dean sighed, tears forming and falling from his eyes. The moonlight reflected off the trails of tears that skated down his cheeks, "Please, I'll do anything, give anything."

The girl laughed from inside the circle, "Watery puppy dog eyes don't work on me Dean. Your friend has gone, he's died and he's going to stay dead. Just give up and stop wasting all of our time."

Dean cocked the gun and pointed at the girl's head, "You know what's in here and you know it will kill you so just give him back."

"I can't Dean. Don't you get it? Your guardian angel is gone and Crowley has that to his advantage. You don't have someone to watch your back and he'd rather you were that way," she sneered looking into Dean's eyes.

"Just one day and then you can have my soul, one day," Dean begged looking at the girl stood in the centre of the trap.

Dean felt that sinking feeling; the feeling of desperation that he always felt when he knew that it wasn't going to work. He had only asked for one day! One day to see him again; to feel his arms around his chest; to kiss him and know that he was really there. Even one day would be perfect. He just couldn't live without him anymore.

The girl walked to the edge of the trap and looked right into Dean's eyes, "I wouldn't even bring him back if you offered one second."

A long bang echoed around the area as Dean pulled the trigger. The girl collapsed at his feet and orange light jittered and died at the point where the bullet had entered. Her blood flowed along the ground and over the demon trap.

He dropped the gun and fell to his knees, "Please, if someone, anyone can hear me, I just want him back. I'll do anything, give anything just please send him back to me!" the hunter yelled at the clouded sky.

The clouds opened up above him and ran poured down as Dean buried his face in his hands. Tears ran down his face and mingled with the rain on the ground as he collapsed in a heap on the cold tar.

"Anything!" the hunter screamed, lifting his head and looking at the rain cutting through the air above him, "I just want him back, please, please."

_Author Note: So that was the first chapter of the sequel. I hope that it brought you back into the story again and that it kept you wanting to read more. If you are reading this then I want to thank you, again, for reading and supporting me through 'Do You Love Me?'. It really was a really big challenge for me and I'm so glad that so many of you enjoyed it and that you gave me the opportunity to write a sequel. It means a lot! _

_So, you should know the drill by now. I love reading absolutely everything you have to say about my chapters so please leave a review telling me what you thought. Also, if you loved it then give it a favourite and/or follow to receive extra love and an e-mail every time I update._

_If you have anything that you want to see in this story, an activity, a small plot line then leave the idea in a review or PM me and I will try my very best to include it!_

_Once again I want to say that I love you all soooooo much and thank you for reading 'Do You Love Me?' and the first chapter of this fanfic. xx_


	2. Can I Go On?

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: Second chapter guys! I'm so happy that I'm writing this because I really have missed all the reviews from you guys! _

_Special thanks to doglady.1, RainyDays-and-DayDreams, It's Steve Now, Jinx2016, CastiellaWinchester94, DestielGirl, destielcannon07 for the amazing reviews. One second while I go and cry because you guys are completely and utterly the most amazing people in the world. You can tell I'm serious because my grammar was atrocious just then. There's a big green squiggly line under it and I don't want to change it. DON'T JUDGE ME MICROSOFT WORD! Understand when I say that you are all the sweetest and best readers that I could ever hope to have! Thank you so much for your support and I really hope that you enjoy this chapter because you all mean the world to me! xx_

Chapter 2 – Can I Go On?

Dean just lay on the ground not wanting to get up. Not sure if he wanted to ever get up. He just didn't have the will power to go on anymore; Castiel was his everything and without him he wasn't a man anymore. At least not one that Castiel would ever love.

He couldn't bring himself to stand with the pain that was burning its way around his body. Everything seemed painful; every little thing when Castiel was there to stand beside him. He didn't want to do it anymore.

He couldn't kill himself. He couldn't leave Sam on his own.

It wasn't right. He had promised his Dad over three years ago that he would look after Sam and protect him no matter what and Dean couldn't do that if he was dead. He'd put on his brave face that he has been wearing for the past uncountable time and somehow find a way to cope without Castiel.

The biggest thing that Dean feared was that there wasn't one.

**OoO**

Sam hadn't seen Dean leave but he knew that he already had. He had done nearly every night since Castiel had died. Sam didn't know what he was doing or why he was doing it but he didn't have the heart to tell his brother to stop. He knew that Dean needed to find a way, anyway, to get over Castiel.

Sam was only ever worried that one day Dean wouldn't come back. He was completely heart-broken and the Winchesters weren't particularly well known for making good decisions after the deaths of friends and family. And to Dean, Castiel had meant everything. Sam knew that.

It had been over 2 hours since Sam had awoken and saw that Dean was gone and he was beginning to panic. It wasn't that he thought that Dean was going to it was more that he feared he had done something stupid and something evil was taking advantage of that.

"Bobby!" Sam called thundering up the stairs and into the older hunter's room, "Dean isn't back."

Bobby rolled over at the sound of the troubled hunter's voice and sat up to look at him, "What do you mean boy."

"Dean. He goes out every night, I don't what he does but he's never been longer than a couple of hours before. I think something might have happened."

Bobby sat up briskly and looked at the younger Winchester. He could see the sheer panic written all over his face and feel the worry he was currently radiating. The boys were close and when one of them was in danger the other did everything to pull them out of it. Bobby worried that this time maybe there wasn't a way. You couldn't save someone from them self.

"Get dressed and get Adam. We're going to save your brother."

**OoO**

Dean just lay at the centre of the cross roads with a blank expression as the rain continued to fall around him. Every droplet of rain that fell reminded him of the tears that had fallen since he had gone. Every second more rain fell and he asked himself why he was still living without Castiel. He never came up with an answer.

How could he think of a reason where there wasn't any happiness brought by the answer?

He couldn't bring himself to carry on. He'd promised himself that that was the last time he would beg for him back and he would move on if the deal wasn't made. He had promised himself but he just couldn't bring himself to do it; he would never let Castiel go.

And, if he couldn't do it, then he couldn't live on.

Lying in the rain next to a demons trap he had made the decision to die by his own gun and to find his love in heaven. He knew that he would eventually say yes to Michael if he stayed there and he couldn't let his brother see him so weak at a time when he needed strong people around him.

There was no real need for him to stay alive, not now.

**OoO**

Sam feared the worst as they trawled the map for the closest cross roads. He thought that he knew his brother well enough to know that he wouldn't do anything too drastic but after the past few weeks, he just wasn't sure anymore.

"He's gonna be okay boy. He isn't stupid, he cares for you too much to leave you right now," Bobby grumbled as he sped down the road.

"I know I know," Sam muttered as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair deep in thought. He heard what Bobby had said but everything about Dean was different and he doubted that Dean was thinking straight. He just didn't know about anything anymore and it wasn't a good feeling. He didn't want to lose Dean again.

"Sam," Adam spoke up quietly from the back. Adam hadn't really spoken to anyone much since Castiel's death. While deep inside he knew that it wasn't his fault that Castiel was dead but his heart wasn't listening to his head. He couldn't help but blame himself a little bit, "Dean may act recklessly and I can tell that you've noticed the changes as much as I have but, I don't think he'd leave his family. No matter what state he's in I think he'll remember how much he means to us."

"I hope you're right Adam, I don't know how I'd cope without him," Sam said as he looked out of the window towards a crossroad that Adam had found.

_Castiel, _Sam thought. He felt stupid for even beginning this but he was desperate and Castiel seemed the only person that could possibly help, _I'm praying to you because... because I can't think of anything else to do. I know that you died but you have to come back. Dean needs you and he's falling apart without you and I don't know how to fix him. Please, I beg of you, don't be dead. Just help me, help him._

**OoO**

He held the gun in his hands, pointed towards his chest as he thought about Castiel. He remembered the way he used to blush when Dean said he loved him; the way he used to close his eyes and snuggle into his chest while they sat with the rest of their family. Dean had always considered his group to be a family.

Bobby and Ellen were the disorganised mum and dad. Sam, Adam, Jo and of course himself were the children. Gabriel was the relative that everyone knew but was never sure who or how exactly they were related. Castiel was the Disney style love interest that had flaws -and of course Castiel did- but to their story, he was perfect.

A single tear crawled down his cheek and mixed with the rain already dotted there. A small smile flitted across his face as he remembered all the best times he'd had with them.

They weren't the best family, that was for sure, but they had always been there for each other and after everything they'd been through it made sense to think of them in his last moments because they were the last thing he wanted to remember. Not all the hard times, the death or the tears, the times that they were all laughing and joking; the times he'd spent with Castiel.

"Dean!" Sam's voice cut through the rain but Dean didn't hear. He took the safety off the gun and cocked it; memories of his family floating endlessly through his mind.

"Dean, don't please don't!" Sam screamed desperately, throwing himself out of the car and starting to run towards the dark figure of his brother on the floor saturated by the heavy rain.

Dean still didn't hear. He took a deep breath and prepared to pull the trigger, "I love you Cass, and soon we'll be together again."

"No!" Sam shouted one last time before skidding to a halt, tears dripping down and into droplets of rain already sat on his face.

A figure suddenly appeared beside Dean. The far off shadow created by the cars headlights flickered as wings appeared either side of the man. His long coat flowed around him in the wind that whipped at his ankles and brushed his hair lightly.

"Dean," he whispered as he bobbed down at his side and held the hand that was currently gripping a gun, "P-please don't do this. Don't."

Dean froze. He knew that voice and it took his breath away. The warmth of the hand resting gently on his own shocked him further into unending silence. He thought that he would never hear the beautiful gruff voice of the blue-eyed angel currently holding onto him.

"C-C-Ca-" Dean stuttered as he opened his eyes and turned to face the man that he had cried over; the man that he loved and had never got over; the man that meant everything to him; the man that he could never forget.

"I'm here Dean and I promise," He said forcefully as he took the gun from his hand and cried, tears falling onto the man laid in front of him on the cold, wet tarmac, "I promise you that I will _never _leave you again."

_Author Note: Well that was an emotional chapter for me to write so I have no idea how emotional it's going to be to read. Wow, I'm almost in tears right now. Well, I don't really know what to type. Cass is back._

_I would LOVE to know what you thought so please, please, please tell me what you thought by leaving a review. I really hope that you liked this one because we are now back into the story. If you really liked it then please follow and/or favourite because along with reviews that is my life source! _

_I love you all soooooo much for the support on this sequel and once again thank you for the amazing support on the prequel, 'Do You Love Me.' I really did love it! I hope that you are back into this story now and that you continue to enjoy it as much as you already seem to! xx_


	3. How Did You Get Here?

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: It's Tuesday so it's story time! I'm really enjoying this story and –hold onto something- I actually know what the plotline is, roughly. However, I would love to have some suggestions of things that you would like to see in the story. Just a cutesy chapter thing or a small plotline to add in somewhere. I would love to hear them and I will try to fit them in somewhere!_

_Special thanks to It's Steve Now, Jinx2016, RainyDays-and-DayDreams, doglady.1, destielcannon07 and DestielGirl for the really lovely reviews again! I say this every single chapter but I really do mean it, these reviews mean a lot to me and I smile like a fool every single time that I get one! Thank you and I hope that you enjoy this chapter! xx_

Chapter 3 – How Did You Get Here?

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief as he took the gun from his loves cold hands and threw it in the other direction. He breathed in a shaky breath as he looked into the beautiful forest green eyes that he had got lost in many times before. But they weren't the same. They were darker, clouded and Castiel knew that they weren't same because of him.

He had believed Zachariah when he should have believed Dean; he had given in to Zachariah's calls and put Dean in danger. It was all his fault and even at his death he had worsened Dean and he never wanted to do that.

**OoO**

The room was surprisingly dark when Crowley arrived. To be honest it was a little more comforting than the piercing bright light of holiness that he had been expecting but it was nevertheless a little bit unnerving. It was heaven after all and every corner should have been bursting with a burning white light like in all the stories but apparently the light couldn't touch this desolate corner of heaven. The place where the deals were made.

"Crowley, nice of you to show up," Naomi muttered in a dangerous tone as she appeared in her seat behind a large white desk.

"Not particularly a warm welcome for a heavenly host," Crowley said lightly in an attempt to hide his true feelings of fear. He had never experienced such a heavy, commanding voice as Naomi's and he knew that he had every right to be completely terrified. She wasn't a monster but neither was she a pushover. She was dangerous and Crowley knew it.

"You didn't keep our cargo safe though did you?" she muttered in a voice that sounded to hold humour but a deadly tone hid behind it.

"I wouldn't call hell safe exactly love," Crowley said with a hint of a smile before coughing and looking to the side of Naomi as fired sprang in her eyes.

"You are meant to be king of hell not a fool who lets every little broken angel escape whenever they want. You made a deal with us. You said that you'd keep him locked away and that no one, not even God, could rip his soul out of hell. And would you know it, it goes and climbs out of the pit himself-"

"He had help alright! Have you ever tried to keep one of you buggers in trapped in a box-"

"I thought you knew how to!" Naomi roared over Crowley, "You told us that there was nothing to worry about; that he would be trapped with the demons and he would never escape. Well now we are worried because he's now both of our problems and it seems that neither of us are getting the Winchesters out of our hair anytime soon!"

Silence fell as Crowley composed himself, "He had some help. We'll find him it was just a slip up. The imbeciles that let him go were dealt with. Severely."

"I wouldn't expect anything less of you demon scum," Naomi spat as if uttering the words left a sour taste in her mouth.

"Making friends I see," Crowley muttered under his breath before speaking up after receiving a dirty look from the angel, "I'll fix it okay?"

"You better do because we can't have anymore slip ups. This apocalypse needs to get underway and soon or everything will go to pot. Understand?"

Crowley nodded and opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted before he could say anything. Naomi swiped her hand and Crowley found himself stood in the centre of a crossroads somewhere in America.

"Bollocks!" he exclaimed loudly before travelling straight back to hell.

**OoO**

"Cass," Dean whispered in a disbelieving voice as he stared at the blurry figure crouch above him, "Is that, is that y-you?"

Castiel looked back at the man and nodded gently, "Yes."

He wasn't expecting the kiss that he was met with. He was expecting a bombardment of questions without answers or at least a well shot punch but he had to admit that the chapped lips pressed against his own were more welcomed. He still couldn't bring himself to melt into the kiss however. Everything about it felt right but at the same time there was something wrong about it all.

He didn't deserve the man that currently sat close to him. He didn't deserve to feel the warmth radiating from his body as he hung onto him because he had done such terrible things to him. He had nearly made him end his own life and no one should love him. Not anyone.

"Dean I-" Castiel muttered as he pulled away from Dean.

"I don't care what you're going to say and I don't care how you're alive; all that matters is that you are and that I have you back," he said rather out of character as he looked at the man in the trench coat that he loved so much that he was certain there was a single word in the entire English dictionary to describe it.

"But Dean, you nearly died. I did that to you," Castiel muttered looking into the man's eyes, "I can't, I can't stay here. I'm only a danger to you. I don't know how I'm currently stood here and I can't risk you getting hurt again because everyone could be after me."

"Don't you get it?" Dean yelled grabbing Castiel by the shoulders and shaking him, "I don't care! Every second of every day I wished that I could have done something more to help you; that if I realised what was going on I could have saved you and you would never have died."

Castiel opened his mouth but Dean wouldn't let him speak, "I love you and in the short time that we were together I didn't say it enough to convey my true emotions but now that we have this second chance I don't want to waste it."

Castiel stared at Dean silently. He knew that he had died but he didn't remember anything about where he went or how he was brought back but he wanted so badly to stay with Dean. He didn't want to leave; he didn't want to be alone so he gave in to Dean. He told himself that he wouldn't let Dean get hurt and that everything was going to work out perfectly.

He stood up and held out his hand. Dean grasped it and used it to pull himself to his feet. The clouds began to clear and the rain died down as he looked into the glorious blue eyes that he'd missed; felt the dark brown hair beneath his fingers. The stars shone above them and Dean prayed that this time –just this once- their love would last.

_Author Note: Cass is now well and truly back, yay! I love writing Castiel -and surprisingly Zachariah because I think I'm quite good at Zachariah- so I'm glad that he's back and I'm writing him again._

_Please tell me what you thought by leaving a review because I love love love reading each and every single one of them. They always make me smile! If you are really enjoying it, or want to show your friends, then follow and/or favourite for easy access to it!_

_I want to mention this again but because you guys are so awesome and you read all the way to the end of the author note –yes I'm talking to you- I'm giving you a chance to get a one-shot/short story out of me because I felt like I don't thank you guys enough! So if you want me to write you anything then leave me a prompt in a review and I will try my best to write one for you!_

_Thank you so much for reading this chapter and I will write on Saturday! xx_


	4. Visions Of Hell

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: So..._

_Special thanks to DestielGirl (That was a lovely happy dance!), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (I'm glad you approve of my Zachariah, I do try), It's Steve Now (I'm glad you're enjoying it!), Dat Guest (I'm glad I can make you that happy), CastiellaWinchester94 (For the review of chapter 2, I'm glad that you enjoyed it!), Me (I missed you soooooooo much! OMFG! I'm so glad that you found this one!), doglady.1 (You're support is awesome thank you!) and J. R. Westmore (Don't ruin the plot shhhhhh. I have started on the second of your prompts because, unfortunately, I don't really ship Mystrade. I'm enjoying writing the second one so far!) for the AMAZING reviews! I love you all to bits and hope that you enjoy this chapter! xx_

Chapter 4 – Visions Of Hell

It was hot, searing hot. People, innocent people surrounded him and the fire was engulfing their bodies, burning then until there was nothing left. It was torture and all Castiel could do was watch.

They had tried all of their methods on him; every method of torture imaginable but nothing seemed to work. Every time they clawed at his body or drilled into him he held it all back. He could breathe through that pain and deal with his own suffering because it was his own fault he was down there.

He had defied his brothers; defied his father. He was the one that had endangered all the people close to him and threatened their lives for his own happiness. He deserved the pain and he told himself that every day. Every single day that he was stuck amongst the cackling demons with the black eyes and tortured souls he told himself that it was what he deserved.

But they picked up on it when they knew that Castiel wasn't going to give in, that he would never shout or scream for himself. Then, they realised, he'd scream for the innocent.

And so it started. The few innocent people that were trapped in the depths of hell, the ones that made the cross road deals, would step before him and slowly the fires would caress them. They would curl around them all, wrapping them up and peel the flesh from their bones until there was nothing left.

And they would scream.

The screams would echo around him, drowning him in the sorrows of all the people that didn't deserve it. That had only done good with their lives and taken the opportunity to make it a little better and had ended up here.

But that didn't work forever. Eventually he became numb to their screams until one day he recognised a scream that he had hear once before and had hoped never to have to hear again. One that caused his battered and bloody head to turn and his heart to break into a thousand shards.

They had conjured Dean. All the twisted things that Castiel had witnessed in his time down in hell –in the place that no angel should ever end- and this was by far the worst.

He heard him screaming out his name as demons scratched and scrapped at him. The screams were incessant, they wouldn't stop and every second they grew louder and louder and Castiel couldn't do anything. He knew inside himself –somewhere deep down- that it wasn't really Dean but in his mind plagued with the fires of Hell he couldn't sit and listen.

He pulled at the hooks through his shoulder and legs. The spike drove further into his back as he failed to pull free and fell back onto them. He shouted for Dean as his screams echoed inside his head. Every time he fell back he cried out in pain and they knew that he'd finally got him.

He couldn't hold it in anymore and everyday he screamed and cried for Dean as the screams continued. He couldn't hold in his own pain anymore yet he kept tugging because he would rather pull himself apart than continue to let Dean suffer.

**OoO**

Castiel's screams rang throughout the house and Dean woke with a start. He was sleeping upstairs in his room and Castiel's shouts rose through the floor from the living room downstairs.

"Castiel!" he shouted in reply before barrelling down the stairs to his side, "Come on Cass. Wake up man!"

Dean knew that something wasn't right as soon as he'd seen Castiel at the crossroads. He looked the same but every action was different and he could see in his eyes that he'd been through something that had changed him.

Castiel awoke with a start but all he could see and all that he could hear was the people and their screams. Their screams of anguish and fear; pain and suffering and once again he couldn't help them.

"Stop! No, please, stop it!" Castiel yelled, his eyes full of terror as he pulled on invisible restraints on the bed, "Stop it! I can't do this anymore!"

"Cass," Dean shouted gripping him tightly and shaking him. He didn't know what was wrong with Castiel but he wouldn't lose him again. Dean grabbed him and held him to the bed, "You have to stop. It's only us, it's okay Cass!"

Dean voice broke through into Castiel's head and he shot up breathing heavily. His whole body ached and his face felt wet from the tears that were sliding down his face. He took deep breathes in an attempt to stabilise himself a bit more and he looked into the worried green eyes of Dean.

Dean looked at him and gently wiped away Castiel's tears with his thumb. He looked over him before sitting down on the bed and wrapping Castiel in his arms. He didn't know what was wrong with him but he knew that he wasn't going to stop until Castiel was better because that was something that he hoped he would never have to see again.

Castiel was terrified and Dean only just managed to snap him out of it. His whole body was wracked with terror; the sight was sickening and Dean wasn't going to let Castiel feel that way ever again.

"I've got you now Cass," Dean whispered into Castiel's hair as he stroked circles on Castiel's shoulder blades to comfort him, "Nothing can hurt you."

The other three hunters looked at each other before leaving the two of them alone. They all knew that what Castiel needed now was some time with Dean to calm him down.

**OoO**

"That didn't look good," Adam muttered as they all sat on the sofa downstairs. They didn't really want to go back to sleep in case it happened again. They needed to be ready.

"I think that we are all thinking it but I think that I've seen something like that before. Not on such a high level but..." Bobby muttered letting the thought hang silently in the air around them.

"I didn't think that angels could," Sam muttered as he brushed some hair out of his face and looked at the older hunter with concern.

"We don't know. There isn't any record of it but it could happen and the effects would be a lot worse than we saw in Dean."

"I know that you both know what you are on about but I'm sorry, I'm not keeping up," Adam muttered looking at the two hunters with looks of near horror on their faces.

"It seems like a while ago now but," Sam paused and took a breath, "Dean made a crossroads deal and went to hell. We are thinking that-"

"Castiel died and went straight to hell."

_Author Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm happy to say that my next chapter will be a little fluffier! _

_Not a long author note tonight because my friend Maxine is here with me and I don't want to bore her with my incredibly loooonnnnngggggg author note! _

_Same routine: review, follow and/or favourite to receive virtual puppies and beautiful pictures of Misha 3._

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you continue to enjoy this story! I love you all! xx_


	5. Memories

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: As I promised, a fluffier chapter this time!_

_Special thanks to DestielGirl (Yup, a lot of sad stuff so now time for a little fluff), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (I'm so glad that you liked my description. I was quite proud of it myself!), Guest –I'm assuming It's Steve Now?- (Yaaaaaaaaay! I love making people cry from my writing. I'm glad you didn't take Castiel because this chapter wouldn't make sense without him and Dean would be sad), J. R. Westmore (Yeah I don't know how that happened either... hmm), destielcannon07 (I'm sorry for breaking your heart... it was worth it right?), Adam & Me (OMG I changed someone's life indirectly! EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK I'm super happy for you! I'm also glad that you enjoyed the chapter!), doglady.1 (He has been having a rather hard time hasn't he... yeah...) for the EPIC reviews! I'm so happy every time I get one and they always manage to make me smile! Thank you so much and I hope that you enjoy this chapter! xx_

Chapter 5 – Memories

Castiel was shaken by the images that he had hoped he would never have to see again. All of the screams echoed around his head as he lay on the bed with Dean beside him in a chair.

Dean's screams had always been the loudest and as he lay silently they were the ones that rang out above all the others; the one that haunted him the most. It was the worst sound that he'd ever heard and every time that it shot through his head he felt close to tears and swore that he'd do anything to never hear those screams on earth.

He didn't know how he could get it out of his head. Angels were never destined for hell and he had assumed that this was why he was so deeply affected but he hoped that it would stop. It had to stop.

The screams were deafening and they clawed at his will to carry on every day, weakening it. He was finding it hard as every second that the screams flooded his mind he began to doubt that he could go on. He didn't want to lose Dean but he feared that if the visions continued he may have to leave.

**OoO**

Dean could see that Castiel wasn't alright. He'd only just got him back and he knew that he wasn't going to return to him fully recovered but this was heart breaking and he didn't know how to help.

That was what was probably ripping him apart more than anything; the fact that he didn't know what to do to help relieve any of the pain that seemed to be surging through Castiel's mind and body. He just didn't know what to do and it was eating him alive.

As he sat beside Castiel in a chair that was less than comfortable he wondered if reminding him of the things he had there would help. He seemed to be remembering the things that he'd suffered through when he'd died. He needed reminding that everything he would ever need could be found right with Dean and the other Winchesters –Bobby counted in that-.

He looked up at Castiel. He had his back to him and his trench coat was flopped over the edge of the bed hanging and grazing Dean's leg lightly. Even with his back turned, Dean could see Castiel's hair sticking up in different directions in his usual 'bed head' style that suited him perfectly. Dean smiled lightly thinking of the times that he'd lain beside him and just ran his hand through it softly.

He could tell he was awake so he spoke up, "Hey Cass. Can you come for a walk with me?"

Castiel turned to look at Dean and he was immediately captivated by the lush green in the man's eyes that he'd missed so much. They were completely clear of the fear and pain that had clouded them in his visions and Castiel couldn't take his own away.

Dean just looked back into the blue eyes that had always reminded him of the perfectly clear summer sky that he secretly cherished. Castiel was perfect in his eyes and he had to make him feel better; remind him of how much he loved him and all the times that they'd shared.

"Yes," Castiel replied quietly as he swung his feet off the bed and stood beside Dean.

"Thank you," Dean said with a small smile as he slipped his hand over Castiel's small one. It fit in his perfectly. He never wanted to let go of it again as long as he lived. He'd missed the feel of his smooth, warm skin against his own rough skin and he was indescribably happy to have the one person that he'd ever truly loved back.

**OoO**

Castiel wasn't sure where they were going as they stepped out of the house hand in hand but he knew that he didn't mind as long as he could keep his hand enclosed in Dean's. It felt so right to be back with his hand in Dean's and his thumb brushing comfortingly over the back of his own hand.

Everything seemed better when he had Dean beside him and he would follow him anywhere because he loved him.

Castiel soon had his question answered as they hopped over the fence and into a field that he'd been in many a time before.

The grass had grown even more –if that was possible- since the last time that the two had been in the field but other than that it was exactly how he had remembered it. The sun was high in the sky and the blades of grass were a beautiful reflective green that made it look like a green sea as the wind blew each individual blade. The field seemed to stretch on for miles as Castiel looked over it and sighed happily.

The happy memory of their 'hide and seek tig' game hit him as he looked out, captivated by the scene.

"It's just as we left it," Dean muttered as he squeezed Castiel's hand lightly and followed his gaze to look over it happily. The untamed grass was now waist height as Dean had sworn to never cut it. He had remembered the time that they'd laid in the long grass and just embraced in a comfortable silence and he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"W-why are we here?" Castiel asked holding loosely onto Dean's hand and squinting at the sun that was shining above them.

"I just wanted to sit with you. After what happened last night with those visions or whatever, I thought that you needed some time to relax. Being cramped in the house isn't going to do you any good so I thought that we could go somewhere together," Dean said turning and holding both Castiel's hand in his own, "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too, more than you could ever imagine," Castiel muttered placing his forehead against Dean's and closing his eyes. The screams died down inside his head and he could think for himself for the first time since he'd got back and all he could think about was Dean.

His stubble tickled Castiel's palm as he held Dean's face and pushed his lips gently to his.

As Dean pulled back for breath he smiled at Castiel and brushed a small curl of hair out of his face, "What was that for?"

Castiel just smiled and sat down amidst the long grass patting a spot beside him.

Dean laughed slightly and say beside him and pulled Castiel down so his head rested on his chest. Castiel let out a squeak of shock as he fell onto Dean's chest which was vibrating from the laughter that currently erupted from him.

"What was that?" Dean spluttered through laughter.

"Nothing," Castiel muttered, his cheeks turning bright red in embarrassment, "I wasn't ready for that."

Dean smiled and his chest stopped shaking as he fell quiet; just holding Castiel and looking at him curled on his chest. He'd missed him and having him back almost felt unreal; he didn't want to let him go.

The warm breeze blew over them and carried the sweet smell of daisies from a neighbouring field. It ruffled their hair as they just enjoyed each other's company in the field that held so much happiness for them. Every second that they were together Castiel became more relaxed and the screams continued to die down until they were only a dull mumble in the back of his mind. He snuggled closer to Dean and breathed in his musk that he had missed so much.

"I love you," Dean muttered stroking Castiel's hair and looking at him with love in his eyes.

Castiel blushed slightly and looked at Dean who was smiling down at him. He saw the love that was held in his eyes and knew that he had to be the luckiest man alive. He had someone that loved him no matter what happened and he was never going to leave him.

"I love you too Dean."

_Author Note: This was a nice chapter to write after all the sadness and angst of the previous ones but unfortunately the storyline has to move on so not too many random happy chapters like this. However, if you want to see some sort of chapter then send me a prompt and I shall fit it in somewhere!_

_I also wanted to tell you what mark I got on my Sherlock fanfiction (A Letter To A Loved One) that I used in my English exam thingy. I got full marks! 20 out of 20! EEeeeeekkkkkkk! Soooooooo happy! Yaaaaay! Happy dance!_

_Anywho, now I've said that I would love to know what you thought of this chapter. As I've mentioned many times before, I love reading your reviews so if you could review this chapter I will love you a whole lot! Also if you a loving this story then follow and/or favourite it! I love you all and I'll write to you on Saturday! xx_


	6. It Was Him

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: So this chapter is not happy. Not even a little bit. Not even for a second really apart from the very first sentence and if you like Gabriel then yeah... he's there. _

_Anyway, special thanks to Adam (You need to get an account so I can say thank you when you write reviews that nearly make me cry! XD Thank you soooooo much!), It's Steve Now (Thank you very much for all your lovely comments and I was really pleased with my writing myself!), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (Why thanks you darling!), Me (You girl need to get an account so I can talk to you all day and btw, you have the sweetest boyfriend in the world. Soooooo lucky! Thank you very muchly for the review), destielcannon07 (I'm so glad that you liked it and thank you for the congratulations!), DestielGirl (Those are awesome ideas and I shall see what I can do. I can promise some cake baking at the end because it will fit but I can't promise the suicide thing but I'll give it a shot. Maybe next chapter) and doglady.1 (I'm glad someone agrees with me. I have to have a change of scenery to get things out of my head. Thank you very much for your lovely comments!) for the fantastic reviews. You always manage to make my week that little bit better!_

_So thank you all and I really hope that you all enjoy reading this chapter. It's a bit longer than usual! xx_

Chapter 6 – It Was Him

Dean and Castiel were happier and as they walked back towards the house hand in hand Castiel began to think about something that he had stopped himself from thinking. How had he got out?

He didn't much want to think about it but he was worried that Dean had done something stupid; that maybe Castiel only had a month with Dean before Dean was dragged back to hell. After seeing the burning pits and tortured souls and feeling the burning fires he couldn't let that happen but he feared that he wouldn't be able to save Dean this time.

Winchesters had a habit of self sacrifice and while he was glad that he was out he couldn't help but think that he'd rather be dead than without Dean. He didn't want Dean to return to a place that was so full of hate and fear; to feel all the things that he had felt and worse. He couldn't accept it.

Something inside Castiel knew that any loyal crossroad demon wouldn't have made the deal because they would never let an angel escape hell if they'd got one in. Angels weren't meant to go to hell and Castiel was probably the first –except Lucifer- to have been thrown into the fire.

No one knew where angels went after death but it certainly wasn't hell. Angels were warriors of heaven and they served God; no angel should be sent to hell. It had to have been an angel that sent him. There were no other possibilities. He knew that he wasn't on best terms with heaven at the moment but he didn't know what he had done to deserve the terrors of hell.

An angel had pushed him in which means that the higher powers of Heaven must have been working with Hell. But then, who would save him?

Angels had begun to rule heaven politically since God left all those years ago and it was swiftly becoming a dictatorship with Michael at the front. No one would dare to step out of place and Castiel knew this which made him worry that Dean had found the one demon that would go against Crowley and make a deal with a Winchester.

Dean squeezed Castiel's hand and snapped him out of his thoughts with a worried look on his face.

"You okay?" Dean asked looking at the frowning angel. He had been worried about Castiel ever since what happened in the house last night and he hadn't stopped ever since. He knew that Castiel had been gone but he had never considered where. There was absolutely no lore of where angels went after they died –Dean had checked- but what Castiel had gone through last night was worrying to say the least.

If Dean didn't know any better he would have thought that Castiel had been to hell.

He remembered the days after he was 'gripped tight and raised from perdition' and they were the worst ones of his life. He couldn't close his eyes without hearing screams and seeing the flesh burning off his own body or the bodies of those that he'd tortured. It was horrific and to think that Castiel had been through the same thing caused Dean indescribable pain.

Castiel nodded slightly and looked at Dean with a smile that Dean could tell was fake. They had been so happy in the field and Dean wanted to keep that happiness going before he asked Castiel some questions. They had been through so much recently and in the past; they deserved to be happy for a day.

"Gabriel," Castiel suddenly spoke as they neared the house, "He's here. Does he-"

Dean wasn't listening. Gabriel was here. Why now? Why ever? He wanted some answers from him and he wanted them now. He knew that Castiel would be pleased to see the archangel but at that point Dean just wanted to know why.

He burst in and the door flew into the wall with a deafening bang causing all the men in the room to turn to face him all a little shocked except one.

"Dean-o, it's been a while," Gabriel muttered with a glimmer of his usual smirk.

"I don't care all I want to know is why did you leave us?"

**OoO**

The room held an awkward silence that seemed to fill every crevice and every corner of the room and spread around them.

"I heard a bang. Is everyone alright?" Castiel asked as he wandered slowly into the tense atmosphere breaking it down slightly with his words.

"Cassie," Gabriel breathed out as he ran to the taller angel and wrapped him tightly in his arms. He held him tightly and didn't show any signs of letting go.

His tone wasn't right. It wasn't one of surprise or the anger that Sam had half expected from the angel. It was more a tone of relief than anything and that confused the younger Winchester. They had hidden Castiel's return from everyone, even their closest friends and the fact that the archangel hadn't lashed out at them was peculiar to say the least. He had practically ignored them and that, Sam knew, wasn't going to sit well with Dean.

"Why did you leave?!" Dean yelled at the archangel again as he pulled back from his younger brother.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't save you from Zachariah. I shouldn't have left I should have-"

"Gabriel!" Dean yelled cutting him off as he slammed the door shut and strode further into the house, "Why?"

Gabriel sighed and dropped his arms from Castiel's shoulders before turning to look at all the hunters in the room. He scanned over all of their faces. Adam's: one of deep hurt and confusion that should never be present on the face of a boy so young. Bobby's: a mixture of mild anger and what seemed to be understanding but Gabriel knew that Bobby couldn't possibly understand. Sam's: one that showed sadness and Dean's. The one man that could possibly begin to understand stood before him with clenched fists and a livid expression.

"Why, damn it, why?" Dean yelled again looking at Gabriel with hate flaming in his eyes.

"I had something to do," Gabriel muttered brushing his hair out of his face with his hand and falling onto the sofa.

"What?" Dean asked agitated by the vague answers that he was receiving from the archangel.

It was then that Castiel's facial expression changed to one of shock and horror. He wouldn't have done something this big knowing the risks that it came with. Everything that he'd built up for himself since he'd left heaven would come crashing down and everything would have been Castiel's fault. He couldn't have; wouldn't have.

Gabriel turned to look at Castiel and nodded sadly. He had known all the risks of this but he couldn't leave his brother there with Dean crying out for him every night. He wouldn't let the demons have him to torture for all of eternity and he was the only one that was willing and powerful enough to save him.

"What happened?" Dean asked looking around at the other hunters confused faces before looking at Castiel and Gabriel. They both looked sad and the hurt on Castiel's face was eating him from the inside out, "Please tell me what happened."

Castiel opened his mouth to reply but the words clumped in his throat and stuck there.

"Allow me," Gabriel said sitting up more and gesturing for everyone to sit down.

They all did so. Dean pulled Castiel onto his lap and held him tightly. He knew that something bad must have happened for Castiel to be so shaken up and he need to be there for him through it.

"I just couldn't stay and to start off with I blamed myself. I left because I had to sort things out in my head and get over everything that had happened because it didn't have to have happened that way. Don't say otherwise Cassie," Gabriel muttered not looking at him but he knew that he was going to try and protest, "After a time a thought of going back to you, answering Sambo's prayers but I caught wind of something on angel radio."

"I thought that you'd detached yourself from heaven," Sam muttered, looking at him quizzically.

"I can stay cloaked and still listen in every once in a while," Gabriel said with a small smile, "Anyway, I asked the right questions to the right people and finally found out where he was."

"Gabriel please," Castiel muttered looking at him with desperation.

"They were going to find out sometime," Gabriel muttered looking at the youngest angel as he turned and buried his head in Dean's chest.

Dean didn't say anything as he held Castiel tightly to him and kissed the top of his head to try and calm him down. He wanted, needed to know what had happened to Castiel if only to prove what he'd been terrified of, that he went to Hell.

"Cassie wasn't in good terms with the God Squad when he'd died but I never thought that they'd do this to him. They," Gabriel hesitated as he thought of what he was about to say, "They sent him to Hell."

Dean's world came crashing down around him as he sat in shock, not able to say a word. He didn't want to believe what Gabriel had said. He just continued holding Castiel close and rocking him gently, while unable to reply that was all he could do.

Everyone else was in stunned silence so Gabriel continued, "I couldn't leave him there. I knew that it would affect him more that it affected you and every day it was killing me knowing that he was stuck so I had to do something. Cassie managed to pull you out so I had to pull him out."

_Author Note: So now we know who got Cassie out of the pit and they all know that he was in the pit. The dramatic irony form the past to chapters ends here because now everyone knows the same things! Whooooo!_

_I hope that you really enjoyed this chapter and I would love to know exactly what you thought so please leave me a review telling me because without them I will shrivel up and die. Please don't kill me! Also, if you are really enjoying this, follow and/or favourite to receive hugs and kisses through the computer!_

_If you enjoy Supernatural or Sherlock and you like my writing style then follow and/or favourite me as an author and I shall love you forever and forever is a very long time!_

_Thank you soooooo much for continuing to read my stories –this one in particular- and reviewing, following, favouriting my story. It means a lot. I love you and I shall write to you on Tuesday. xx_


	7. Our Innermost Thoughts

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: Another chapter!_

_Special thanks to RainyDays-and-DayDreams (*revives you* 'm sorry about that but I'm glad that you enjoyed it XD), Me and Adam (Heyo guys. Sounds waaaaaaaay better than school. I'm so happy for you two. Not so sure about tying in some Sabriel. I do ship it but I don't want to deter people from reading because of it. I will put in some bit where they are talking but no romance sorry.), It's Steve Now (I need them back *pouts* I'm glad that you liked it!), doglady.1 (I feel bad for Cass too. Sometimes I sit and shout 'Why am I writing this? It's so sad!'. I'm a little bit broken...), DestielGirl (I'm really sorry but I don't think I can get your suicide idea in quite yet but the cake is going to happen. It's going to be a while a way yet though. I'm soooooooo glad that you are enjoying this story that much!) and J. (I love Gabriel! I'm making very slow progress with your one-shot, sorry about that. One day I'll just be in the mood to write it and I'll finish it all in one go but unfortunately that day hasn't come yet so it's slowly getting done. I'm really glad that you are enjoying it!) for the really nice reviews! I really do love reading them all because they make even the worst days better! _

_Thank you again, I love you all and I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as the last one! xx_

Chapter 7 – Our Innermost Thoughts

Castiel's heart plummeted down in his chest as he waited for the questioning to start.

The room was eerily silent as he waited and waited. The sound of leaves skittering across car bonnets could be heard from outside and Castiel focused on it. The sunlight shimmered elegantly through the window and warmed Castiel as he sat stock still on Dean's lap breathing slowly and gently as he wished for someone to break the silence that was now killing him.

"Cass I-" Dean started but stopped as he realised that he didn't know what to say. He had been to hell and suffered through it but even the thought of Castiel being near the pits was worse than his whole experience in Hell over those 4 months that was 4 years to him. He knew full well what Hell was like and while he couldn't protect him from the experience he could keep him from reliving it. He tightened his arms around him so he knew that he was there.

"I'm just sorry that it took me so long," Gabriel sighed close to tears as he looked at his brother curled against Dean. He knew how hurt Castiel was. His youngest brother had always tried to hide how he really felt from everyone around him as he had been trained to do but Gabriel had always been able to read him and he was falling apart.

He looked at Castiel and saw that broken child that had searched for him long after he had left heaven; the one that had always been a fighter but had been forced back into place in the most painful ways possible.

When he looked at Castiel right in that moment he saw, not a man, but a scared boy who had been through too much too young. He'd found happiness but it was ripped from him again and he was trying so hard to push through but this time it was so much worse. Everything he'd been through hadn't begun to prepare him for the terror of Hell and knowing that it was his family, his own family that had put him there.

"I'm so sorry baby brother," Gabriel muttered as he stood slowly and walked out of the room. He couldn't sit in there anymore; it was just too much.

**OoO**

Castiel heard his brother's apologies and couldn't stop the tears that spilled over his eyelashes and down his face onto Dean's shirt. Sam's footsteps sounded as he followed the archangel out of the room to try and comfort him.

A few mumbled words crept through to Castiel's as Bobby and Adam stood and left the house.

Silence fell.

Dean didn't know what to say. Castiel's tears were soaking slowly through his t-shirt as he held the man close. He still hadn't fully taken in what Gabriel had told them; it all seemed so unreal, like a horrific nightmare that he couldn't escape. But, no matter how hard he pinched himself, he wouldn't wake up; he was still sat in a dusty and worn armchair with the man he loved curled in his arms crying.

It was the worst day of his life. Worse than the day he lost Sam; worse than the 4 years he spent in Hell; worse than all the pain he'd suffered smashed together and multiplied by ten because his angel, his Castiel had been in Hell.

"It hurt so much," Castiel muttered, his voice a deep gruff utterance. He couldn't keep everything in any longer because every second that it remained inside him it ate away at him more.

"Every day they would tear away at me until I no longer felt it and then they would make them scream. They would scream for my help, for me to do anything to ease their pain and they bombarded me with prayers that rang endlessly around my head. Every second felt like a lifetime. Then-" Castiel's voice cracked as he began to choke on the painful memories spilling from his mouth, "Then they'd do it to you. They'd stand you in front of me and they'd tear you apart a small section at a time. Your screams filled my ears and I-"

"Sh," Dean muttered as Castiel's body began to shake wildly as tears thundered from him, "I've got you now. I'm here and I'm fine, you'll never have to think about that ever again because I'll always be here I promise you now that I will never leave. You will never have to be put through that again. Never."

Castiel kept crying onto Dean's shirt as he let out everything that he had kept inside since his return. He let out all the pain and all the memories and just curled up, burying himself in Dean's warmth and letting himself feel safe once more in his arms. It seemed like it had been centuries since he last felt safe but when he was with Dean, no matter what was happening around them he always felt safe; it was as if they were in their own world.

His sobs died down and his body stopped to shake as his breathing returned to normal. Dean still couldn't let him go though. He wasn't going to let him go again because he feared that if he did he might lose him and nothing could prepare him for that horror again. It was worse than he had ever felt possible.

"Dean," Castiel mumbled, his breath warming the spot on Dean's chest where his head was laid, "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't want to tell you I don't know why I just... I didn't-"

"It's okay," Dean interrupted softly, running his fingers through his hair softly while rocking him gently, soothingly, "I don't care that you didn't tell me; I don't even care if you were never going to tell me; all I care about is that now you are here with me. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for because you have done nothing wrong."

"I went against my father and my family-" Castiel mumbled before Dean interrupted him gently again.

"They aren't you true family. Family isn't purely your blood or true relations. Families don't throw each other into Hell if they don't conform to the path that they decide is the right one; they let each other decide for themselves. Family are the people who care for you, support you no matter what happens and stay by your side whatever you decide through good times and bad times. We are your family Cass and we will stay with you I promise."

Dean hated them all; every angel that had initiated it or even heard about what they were doing to Castiel because he didn't deserve any of it. Dean hated his brothers sometimes and on occasion he felt like punching them square in the face but he would never even begin to consider sending them to Hell. He wouldn't even wish that kind of mental and physical pain upon the scum demons and monsters that he fought.

"I'm just glad that we can rely on your dickhead of an older brother. That guy's starting to grow on me," Dean muttered kissing Castiel's head and smiling a little. He and Gabriel had their differences but they were quite similar; they were both older brothers just trying to look out for their younger brothers. They were both willing to sacrifice everything to keep them safe as to them, their family meant everything; they may not be perfect but they were worth sacrifices.

Castiel's heart swelled at Dean's words and he turned in Dean's laps to catch his lips. He breathed into the kiss and held him close not wanting to let go; wishing that that precise moment could last forever. In that moment they were close and intimate, understanding everything about each other and accepting each other's faults because they didn't matter. What mattered was that they had each other and they loved each other and nothing was going to change that.

They had both made sacrifices to get to where they were and everything was worth it because they were family and that's what family do.

_Author Note: That was a lot of words for a scene that would have lasted maybe five to ten minutes in an episode. I have begun to add a lot of description to my writing. What do you guys think? Do you like my writing style?_

_As always, I would love to know what you think of this chapter so please leave me a review telling me EVERYTHING! Also, if you are thoroughly enjoying this story then please follow and/or favourite it to get some serious love from me! Every follow, favourite and review makes me smile like a mad woman! If you like the writing style and Sherlock and Supernatural then follow and/or favourite me as an author and read some of my other stories. You'll also get e-mails when I update anything!_

_Because you guys are reading this and I love you so much, I will write you a one-shot if you have an idea. If you do then leave a prompt in a review or PM me and I shall try my best to write you a one-shot. I love that all of you support this story and I feel like I don't say thank you any way near enough so this is a way I can thank you!_

_Anyway, thank you all for reading, I love you all and I'll write to you on Saturday. xx_


	8. Gabriel Has Got It

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: Another chapter that's a little angsty before a happier one on Tuesday!_

_Special thanks to doglady.1 (I'm so glad you do because it has changed A LOT from when I first started writing. I looked back on it and it was really funny! I'm glad you'd continue to read. I'm putting some BroTP Sabriel in it because I think that they could be good friends), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (I'm so glad that I could make you feel better after having a hard few days. I love sitting and reading fanfiction after bad days it always makes me feel better), J. (It's a good crazy idea and it's still going nowhere at the moment. Still super sorry. I feel super sorry for Castiel too. I wonder why I give him such a hard time sometimes.), destielcannon07 (I'm really glad that you do because I am quite proud of it myself! This sounds super sadistic but I'm really happy that my writing can make you cry!), DestielGirl (I was reading your review while in school and I was nearly crying with happiness at that first paragraph. This guy sat next to me looked worried XD Thank you so much, your reviews mean the world to me!), It's Steve Now (K.O. Feels is down! I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much!) and Adam and Me (Tell her I say hi and that I missed her review this chapter. Thank you so much for your review and don't worry there is some fluff to come!) for the amazingly legendary reviews! They really do mean a lot and I don't think that I'd be writing without them! THANK YOU!_

_Now, without further ado, here is today's chapter! xx_

Chapter 8 – Gabriel Has Got It

The archangel was distraught. He knew that he had to get Castiel out of Hell but it had taken him so long that he had visions so strong that he awoke and they continued. He could see the pain that Castiel was under even when he smiled beside Dean. It wasn't fair that his baby brother had to have gone down there just because he did the right thing and helped the humans. What sort of a big brother; what sort of an archangel was he to have taken so long to pull him out.

"Gabriel?" Sam's voice sounded from the kitchen door. He didn't reply. He didn't trust his voice enough to speak because he knew that the younger Winchester would try to tell him that it wasn't his fault and he didn't need that now. Sympathy wasn't what he wanted or needed he just needed Castiel back to normal.

"Come on, Gabe," Sam said looking to the archangel and using a nickname that he'd never really considered using before. Gabriel had never been considered a 'friend' until recently and Sam wasn't sure why because Gabriel needed some friends.

He was lonely and though he didn't show it, Sam knew he was. Every time he popped up for one of his 'Cass Checks' Sam could tell that his 'baby brother' wasn't the only reason he was here. Sam knew that he was lonely and that was expected from a man that had left his family; his home to go to a world and live amongst another species. It can't have been the best circumstances.

"It wasn't you-"

"Don't say that it wasn't my fault because if you do I will repeat our little game of 'Mouse Trap' but the effects will be a little more permanent," Gabriel muttered with only a glimmer of his usual playful tone showing through.

"But you can't blame yourself. It wasn't anyone's fault," Sam said moving closer to the archangel, "It was Zachariah that killed him not you, not anyone else so you need to stop blaming yourself. Castiel is back and right now, that's all that matters right?"

Gabriel breathed deeply and turned to look up at the tallest Winchester who stood behind him with a soft, sympathetic expression. He knew that he was right but he couldn't help but blame himself a little which he was sure was what Dean had been doing.

Gabriel and Dean didn't get a long a lot of the time which was understandable ever since the 'killing Dean multiple times' thing. Even without that whole experience Gabriel still believed that they wouldn't get on because they are too similar. They are both older brothers who give themselves the job of looking after their younger brothers no matter how old they got. With them being the oldest meant that they got on each other's nerves a lot. The added factor of them both wanting to protect and look after Castiel didn't particularly help the relationship as you might think it would.

"But I haven't helped you all by coming here," Gabriel muttered looking away from the man again. He knew that Castiel would be hunted and he couldn't let him be found. The first place that they would look was Bobby's and that, unfortunately, would be the place that Castiel would escape to. Gabriel couldn't let them get hold of Castiel but he wasn't exactly helping by finding them.

Gabriel had left heaven and for a while they had searched for him but they soon gave up when it seemed that Gabriel had died. In actual fact Gabriel had managed to cloak himself so that his brothers couldn't find him. Gabriel had to stay hidden though for it to work so he became a trickster to stay hidden from his family and make sure that he was never dragged back.

He never truly lost touch with heaven because he kept a line to heaven open and heard all the news which was how he managed to stay out of everyone's way. It was all necessary and rather complicated but it meant that he had the freedom to roam earth without fear that he would be found.

All the effort that he had put in had been flushed away as soon as he had entered Hell and pulled Castiel out. The few angels that still believed Gabriel to be alive wouldn't have had a single doubt and the rest would have soon come to the same conclusion as them because no one would dare to defy Michael. It wasn't a hard conclusion to arrive at and Gabriel was terrified.

"Castiel isn't the only one who will be hunted down now," Gabriel muttered and ran a hand through his sandy mop, "I'm an archangel that everyone believed dead over the past few years; they'll want to know where I've been and they won't play nicely."

Sam looked at the back of the angel and sighed a little. He hadn't expected any of this to be easy. As soon as Castiel turned up he knew that they would be thrown right back in at the deep end –not that the apocalypse didn't already have them in pretty deep- as angels and demons alike would be hunting down the angel that helps humans.

"What do we do?" Sam asked simply.

"We?" Gabriel asked his eyebrow rose as he span around to look at the youngest Winchester.

"Yes we," Sam said. He knew that their situation had just got worse and he knew that having Gabriel with them would make it any better but he couldn't bring himself to plan ahead without him. Sometimes Gabriel was a pain in the ass but he was the greatest asset that Team Freewill had ever had. He was becoming a friend and part of the family so he wasn't going to get left behind, "The rest of us aren't leaving you to fend for yourself after everything that you've done for us. I think that even Dean would consider it."

Gabriel smiled at the taller man softly and smirked a little, "Even Dean-o eh? I'm touched really."

Sam smiled as Gabriel's usual playfulness broke through the hard outer shell that he'd been wearing since he'd arrived, "So what are _we_ doing?"

"We have to hide," Gabriel said plainly, "We have to wait until the angels give up and then some more because they don't want any of us here. We are ruining their plans and my family don't like it when they are fought against."

Sam nodded slightly and looked out the window absentmindedly, "Whatever it takes to keep everyone safe. We just have to find a place that no one will find us in."

"I've already got one Samwich," Gabriel smiled patting him on the back and walking back to the living room with a confident smile.

**OoO**

Castiel had calmed slightly and the two men were now sat comfortably on the sofa just enjoying the feel of having each other close. Bobby and Adam had got back again and they were sat in silence with the peaceful couple on the sofa.

"We have to leave," Gabriel said as he strode into the room and all the men inside looked up, "I've found us a place that no one will find us in within a million years and I'm sure that we can be safe there. There are books and a kitchen separate bedrooms. It doesn't have the rustic charm of this place but it has its own perks."

"Why do we need to leave?" Adam asked looking at the group in alarm. He hadn't really been with his brothers long and while he wasn't particularly enjoying living in Bobby's house he had grown accustom to it. It had a homely, lived-in feel to it that Adam couldn't deny felt good to him in the strange and dangerous life that he had found himself in.

"It's not safe," Castiel said speaking up slightly and sitting up on Dean's lap, "Everyone and everything is coming to find both me and Gabriel. We can't stay here much longer because they will find us and I don't want to think about what will happen when they do."

Dean kissed the back of his head and wrapped his arms around Castiel's stomach from behind to try and calm him. He knew that this was going to happen and knowing Castiel he'd try to leave without them and hide alone. Dean wasn't about to let that happen because no matter how much Castiel thought he was helping them by doing that it really wasn't any help at all. Dean couldn't live without Castiel as he had done over the past 2 months. He couldn't do it.

"Where's this place then?" Bobby asked looking at the archangel and standing. He had known that the boys wouldn't be staying forever but he had desperately hoped that they wouldn't be leaving this soon. He loved them all staying in his house. They all brought the house to life; it hadn't felt that full and happy since before Karen had died.

"Lebanon, Kansas," Gabriel said very directly, "You'd better pack your things because we need to get going before the family come down on us with all the fury of heaven combined."

_Author Note: So this chapter is finished. The next chapter will be called 'Settling In' and will be a happier fluffier chapter! I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter and that you'll enjoy a little bit of fluffiness in the next chapter._

_So this chapter was a Sabriel in a friendship way which I think that I will continue through the story because I think that they should be really good friends! So no romancey Sabriel but some serious business best friendness! I'm making up so many words at the moment! XD_

_I would love to know what you thought of this chapter so pleasy please please leave a review telling me exactly what you thought! I will love you even more if you follow and/or favourite this story as well! Also, if you wouldn't mind, spread the word on my mini fanfiction series that I have going here on any random social networking site that you have because it would mean the world to me to get the amount of follow and/or favourite to maybe 75 at a push and the reviews to 200 by the time I've finished. That would be a dream come true for me!_

_I love you all for reading and I'll write to you on Tuesday! Thank you for reading! xx_


	9. Settling In

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: This chapter is hopefully happier than the other ones. I hope that you like it!_

_Special thanks to DestielGirl (I'm so glad that I could help you even a little in the exam period because exams are horrible. I know I have to do 25 this year! I would love to be an author but I can't make up my own characters so I think that I'll stick to fanfiction XD Thank you so much for all your reviews on all my stories! They are all really nice!), Adam and Me (Awwwwww poor Me! I hope you get better soon I send you friend love via the internet –it's the best kind-. You guys are still completely adorable and I still really want what you guys have. Thank you both for the really nice comments!), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (Why thank you very much, I'm really glad that you are enjoying it and thank you for all the really nice reviews on all my other stuff that I've been putting up!), doglady.1 (He's getting better with stuff like that definitely. He's slowly beginning to trust Gabriel which is a good job because if he's going to go out with Cass he needs to be friends with Gabriel! XD Thank you for taking such an interest in my story!) and It's Steve Now (I will try to be nice but you know I can't promise anything. I'm slowly developing Moffatitis. It's a serious angst disease. XD I'm glad that you are enjoying it and that I haven't had the characters taken off me!) for the awesome reviews. _

_My author notes are reaching ridiculous lengths so I'm just going to let you get on and read the chapter now. I love you all! xx_

Chapter 9 – Settling In

The bunker wasn't what they were expecting at all with its grand furniture and flashing technological lights. Everything was a lot neater and cleaner generally than they were expecting which was a pleasant surprise for Adam and Castiel. They were completely different but they both liked to keep a clean house whenever possible.

When they all first heard the word bunker they imagined a dark, dingy and dinky room under the ground cobwebs and no beds. They certainly didn't expect a fully furnished underground house with a big enough library to keep you going for a year. There was even a kitchen which pleased Castiel to no end. Everything seemed to be looking up and while Bobby wasn't happy about having to leave his house he had to admit that the bunker really wasn't bad at all.

"How did you find this?" Sam asked looking at shelf full of lore books. They were all in alphabetical order depending on monster and every book was singularly about that one monster. It was the young hunters dream.

"Oh, Sammy, there are a lot of things that you don't know I can do," he said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively before Sam gave him a very stern bitch face which shut him up immediately.

"Only Dean can call me Sammy," Sam said before turning around and looking back to all the books. Yes, that was Sam heaven.

"Keep your hair on Sampunzel," Gabriel muttered under his breath as he walked towards a set of flashing lights on some sort of machine that Gabriel really didn't know how to use and couldn't even begin to guess the purpose of.

"I must admit that I'm not sure how you found it either," Castiel said walking to stand beside his brother and looking at him carefully, "It's covered in angel warding."

Castiel wasn't particularly sure what affects dragging him from Hell had had on Gabriel and while he was still an angel, which was evident from how he had transported them there, he wasn't sure whether something had happened. He should have learnt now that Gabriel could look after himself and that he was perfectly capable of things but he was a little brother and he was allowed to worry about his big brother sometimes, even if he had nothing to worry about.

"I had help," Gabriel said looking at his brother to make sure that he understood he was telling the truth.

"I managed to find that Jemima girl that Castiel was wearing for a bit. She's sweet and she liked you very much Samsquatch!" Gabriel said raising his voice slightly at the last bit so Sam could hear him as he was still over the other side of the bunker practically drooling over the books.

"Yeah, yeah," Sam said dismissively as he grabbed a book about Wendigo's and opened it a little too enthusiastically.

Gabriel shook his head slightly and turned back to his brother, "I regret leaving the books in here. We'll never get a word out of the Samwich with him burying his head in all of them. Not literally Cassie," Gabriel said predicting his next question and answering before it was asked.

"Thank you," Castiel muttered with a sad smile.

"For what?" Gabriel asked looking at the oldest hunter as he prodded some of the machinery. He didn't know how to use any of it but he was pretty sure that it wasn't meant to be smacked repeatedly and sworn at.

"Everything," he breathed looking down at his feet, "Saving me even though you knew what would happen and finding us and taking us to this place."

Gabriel took hold of Castiel in his arms and smiled as he noticed how much taller he was than him now. The last time that he had hugged him he hadn't really thought about it but before that the small blue-eyed boy was only young. He was so small that he had to crouch down to be at his head height. That was before he had left heaven though so it was a long time ago and Castiel had grown up.

He stroked his back gently and smiled more, "Don't mention it. You're my baby brother it's just what brothers do no matter how old the other is growing up."

Castiel sighed slightly as he felt the metaphorical weight lift from his shoulders and he hugged his brother back tightly, "Thank you."

**OoO**

After all the men had had some time to look around the main room and Dean had chosen his seat at the table as well as the side that Castiel would sit on, Gabriel decided that it was time for some fun.

"Right then!" he shouted loudly to get everyone's attention and clapped his hands and rubbed them together, "Let's get this game started!"

"Fuck no!" Dean exclaimed looking at the archangel with a face of horror, "I'm never playing a game with you again after the 'Mouse Trap' incident. I had those extra parts for three days. I couldn't even leave the house!"

It's true. That game, while very funny for Gabriel, wasn't the best time for those involved due to the fact that they couldn't sit of lay down without their tails getting in the way or their ears flopping in the way of their eyes. It was impractical to say the least.

"That was just a bit of fun and anyway this game doesn't involve any extra body parts."

"Am I missing something?" Adam asked folding his arms and looking at all of them. He was fully aware that lots of things happened before he got there but if they could stop making reference's then that would be great.

"I gave them all mouse tails and ears. I wanted the life sized game to be realistic," Gabriel explained to the boy as he laughed but turned it into a very unrealistic cough when Dean glared his way. It did sound funny though so Dean couldn't really blame him.

"Anyway, we are just going to play hide and seek," Gabriel said looking at the faces of the men around him who all looked a little relieved but suspicious. But for once they really didn't have any need to be. The archangels want to play hide and seek was innocent enough and he thought it would help everyone to find their way around the house a bit better.

"I'll count if you want?" Gabriel asked trying to get them to believe that he wasn't going to play any tricks. He understood that he wasn't the most trusted person –hello... trickster- but he just wanted to play hide and seek!

"Sure I'm in," Sam said as he pulled himself away from the books finally and walked off to hide. Many sighs followed him as the rest of the group decided that it couldn't be that bad and sidled after him.

"Good! 1...2...3..." Gabriel started as he smiled to himself. Hide and seek was his favourite game to play with all of his siblings in heaven and playing it again brought back so many happy memories. He was glad that they finally gave in because a little nostalgia was what he needed sometimes.

**OoO**

Castiel once again didn't really understand the concept of hide and seek so he ended up following Dean around the bunker until they slid themselves under a double bed in a spacious room at the other side of the bunker.

The room was painted a wine red which gave it a medieval feel. The cast iron bed frame and deep purple bed covers added to the atmosphere and made the two men feel as if they had been transported back. Dean moved closer to Castiel and wrapped an arm around him.

He still couldn't get over the fact that he was back and every moment that they got together he got as close as he could to him because he didn't want to waste a single second alone when he could be right beside him. Castiel meant more to Dean than he had ever imagined anyone other than his brother could and that was evident from how he'd acted without him. It had become very clear to Dean and the people around him that he needed Castiel and without him he didn't know what he'd do.

"What do you think?" Dean asked facing him and looking between his eyes.

"About what?" Castiel asked looking into Dean's dark green eyes that were scanning his own. He always got caught up in the beautiful eyes that made his breath catch in his throat. To Castiel they were perfect and the man whom they belonged to was as well; to him all the little 'faults' were things that made him the wonderful and inspiring man that he was and Castiel wouldn't wish to change that for the world.

"The room. We are going to be here for a while so we are going to need a room, how about this one?" Dean asked taking Castiel's hand and running his rough fingers over the crinkles that were on his palm.

Castiel looked out from under the bed and smiled slightly. The room had a lovely homely feel to it that Castiel couldn't deny drew him in because, despite what many people thought, he didn't want t be a warrior anymore. He was sick of the fights; the commands that he got thrown his way that he didn't have the choice to disobey because if he did there were dire consequences. He wanted to forget all about the apocalypse and just run away to the countryside with Dean and start a life in which there wasn't the fear of death around every corner. He wanted a long and happy life with the older Winchester.

"It's perfect," Castiel replied looking back at Dean.

"Good," Dean said closing his eyes and threading his fingers between Castiel's before resting their hands on his chest. Dean was sure why, maybe it was because he felt safe and at peace, but he managed to fall asleep right where he lay under the bed with Castiel beside him and the fear that had possessed him far away.

_Author Note: So that chapter may not have been the best that I've ever written –I've not had a fantastic day- but I hope that it was too terrible and that it was a little fluffy. My mood tends to steer my writing and I'm just hoping that it wasn't too sad or bitter sweet. If it was I'm sorry because it was an accident._

_Anywho, I would love to know what you thought so if you could leave a review it would be much appreciated and I will deliver love and a comment to you at the top of the next chapter. I would also love for you to follow and/or favourite if you REALLY loved it because every time someone does it makes me smile!_

_Thank you for sticking with me through this and I'll write to you all next chapter on Saturday! xx_


	10. What To Do?

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: So a more pleasant and maybe funny chapter this time to give you all a small break._

_Special thanks to Adam times 2 (You are seriously the cutest man alive! Try not to worry because she's still completely quirky as far as I can tell from her review and you seem to be helping a lot! Loving that quote and you should get some sleep even though it is completely adorable that you are staying up for her. You guys are seriously the cutest.), DestielGirl (Enthusiastic as always! I send much internet love back because you are seriously awesome and your reviews always make me smile even in the middle of my Biology class as I get weird looks from this one guy. Thank you.), It's Steve Now (There be no angst this chapter so you can enjoy cute and quirkiness! I hope that you like it!), Maggie! (I don't think that I've ever missed anyone as much as you. Thank you so much for the update on how you are doing because truth be told I was worried and still am but now having a review from you is making me feel better. You have the most adorable boyfriend in the universe and now you must get me an awesome boyfriend. Enjoy the pie and Oreos! You luck, lucky girl!), doglady.1 (Gabriel always does well and I'm so glad that you enjoyed the hide and seek. I love hide and seek very much!) and destielcannon07 (I can forgive you... I think. :) It was a bit more normal and I'm glad that you liked it and I hope that you like this nicer chapter too!) for the awesome reviews._

_Without you guys I would have given up a long time ago! I love you all a gargantuan amount for everything that you have –maybe unintentionally- done for me because without you I wouldn't be writing and enjoying myself soooooo much! Thank you and I hope that you enjoy this chapter. It's for all of you guys! xx_

Chapter 10 – What To Do?

The Winchester boys were hard to get along with when they were outside in the real world but Bobby and Gabriel were finding it harder since they had been hiding in the bunker.

Normally the archangel could just fly away for a bit to get away from the continuous fights between Dean and Adam and the love scenes that looked like they belonged in a soppy movie that Dean and Cass shared. However, since one of the main reasons they were in hiding was because the angels were after him he had to stay put which had been painfully boring for the usually incredibly active archangel.

Bobby on the other hand was completely and utterly bored. He was usually so busy with the phone calls he got daily and he had to admit that pretending to be a high ranking FBI agent was fun so this detachment from it all was tedious to say the least.

All of his phones had been cut because it was too easy to track people through phone conversations and Bobby's vital role in the world of hunting had been handed over to Garth which may or may not have been a good idea. It was Gabriel's so all of them decided to trust his judgement this once because it could hurt to trust the angel that had risked everything to save one of their family. Because that's what Castiel is.

The Winchesters themselves were just sick and tired of being cooped up in a hole in the earth –an admittedly clean and spacious one-; not being able to leave.

They were hunters and even though they knew that they were in serious danger and that the other hunters could handle it they still wanted to be out there saving people. They were still, after all this time, putting other people above themselves. It was the Winchester disease and it seemed that even Adam had caught it.

Castiel on the other hand was just glad that everyone was safe. He was bothered about being stuck in one place like he brother; he wasn't bothered that the oldest and youngest Winchester were arguing like Bobby and he wasn't bothered that other hunters were being left to do things. All he wanted was to know that the group of people whom he cared about most were safe and knowing that kept him sane.

However, it wouldn't kill any of them to have something to do.

The place was big and full to the brim with books on every possible monster that you could imagine but after a while –even for hunters- monsters got boring. For Winchesters monster books got aggravating as every time they picked one up it would remind them that they couldn't leave and hunt something for themselves.

They had been on their laptops because Gabriel had installed some internet in some unknown way at an unknown time but even games and such on the internet got boring after a while. For example, Dean had gone through more than his fair share of 'Monster Busters' and now got stuck on floor 392. He nearly threw Sam's laptop across the grand main room when he once again couldn't complete the level.

Basically they were all bored and they really weren't sure how long they could last before they either went insane or killed each other. Neither was exactly preferable.

**OoO**

"I'm bored," Adam announced one day when everyone was laid out doing nothing but breathing. They couldn't sleep and they couldn't think of anything to do so that was what they had ended up doing. Breathing was particularly fun though.

"We're all bored boy," Bobby mumbled and sighed deeply.

"I could cook again," Castiel said with a slight tilt of his head.

"NO!" They all yelled in unison as they sat up to look at the trench coat clad angel with horror.

They were all getting fat from having been force fed all of the things that Castiel had made. Before Gabriel had moved them all in, he modified the kitchen so it looked like that that they had used when Castiel had made those cupcakes a while back. As well as this he had made sure that the cupboards were stocked fully and somehow managed to do something so that ingredients never ran out. Of course no one knew the details other than Gabriel but to be frank they really didn't care.

They all had been relatively happy with this to start with because it meant that they always had delicious food and Castiel was happy which of course made Dean happy. In a way if Castiel was happy then the rest of them were because Dean's mood changed the whole atmosphere in the bunker –as they had begun to call it-.

It quickly went downhill though because Castiel began to realise which recipes they liked best and unfortunately they were mostly the sweet ones with the highest fat content. If they were stuck down in the bunker that would be great because they definitely needed their food before running around and hunting some sort of supernatural creature. However, when they were stuck in one place and barely moving at all –only from one room to another- it was bad.

How could they be expected to keep in shape for their fight to stop the apocalypse when Castiel was feeding them food –incredibly delicious food, but food none the less- every time he was bored? It was never going to end well.

"It's not that we don't like your food," Dean said, swinging his legs off the table that he had been laying on and looking at the angels hurt expression, "It's just we've all eaten a lot and we need to keep in shape."

Castiel nodded slightly and went back to staring absently at the corner of the room.

Everything fell silent once more.

"This is ridiculous!" Sam stated, standing up and looking at them all, "We can't just mope around here forever feeling sorry for ourselves. We have to at least play a game or do something!"

"I've got to agree with the Samcastle on this one," Gabriel said standing up with an uncharacteristically fed up expression on his face, "They must have some games down here. Cassie, go and have a look around while I clear a space."

Castiel nodded and wandered off in search of a game while Gabriel got to work pushing a table.

Everything had been going a lot slower recently as the two angels hadn't been using their powers. They still could but Gabriel feared that the other angels had latched onto their wavelengths and could possibly track them if they did anything. He thought it best to not risk it and just do everything as a human would for now at least.

"We should play 'Twister'," Castiel said as he wandered into the room carrying a white box with multicoloured spot on it.

"Twister?" Sam said, doubt clear in his voice. He didn't dislike 'Twister' he just didn't really consider it a good game to play with the people he was currently stuck in the bunker with. He liked them all and everything but he didn't particularly want to be tangled up with them on the sliding floor and plastic mat. It just wasn't his idea of fun.

"I'll spin the spinner," Bobby said hastily as he was fully aware that they would end up playing 'Twister' and he was not bending around on the floor. He wasn't even sure whether he could do it anymore.

"Looks like we are playing 'Twister'" Dean muttered looking to Castiel who was setting up the mat by himself, "You should probably take of the coat."

Castiel stopped momentarily to look up at Dean with confusion before continuing and passing the oldest hunter the spinner.

"Maybe not then," Dean breathed before taking his own coat off and bobbing down, "Let's get this started then.

**OoO**

After much dragging and yelling of Adam who had refused to play with the group they had slung him onto the mat and forced him to play. Just that argument was the most exciting thing that had happened in a LONG time but it was about to get more exciting... or maybe awkward was a better word.

Castiel was currently bent in a sort of crab position from one side of the mat to the other over top of a crouched down Adam who had his arms crossed and his feet in a Spiderman-like stance. He was less than uncomfortable especially with an angel's ass in his face. Gabriel was perched suspiciously comfortably with his hands and feet the correct way round beside his younger brother's head. An annoying smirk was on his lips as the angel got less and less comfortable with every passing second. Dean wasn't in a much better position. His left hand was over Castiel's leg and his right between Gabriel's legs. Both of his feet were threaded underneath Castiel and around Sam at the other end.

Sam was sat in one corner of the mat generally alone other than Dean's legs threaded under him. He was stuck in a square in the corner in a quite uncomfortable position because of the way the colours had come up. Since he was so far away from the rest of the group he began to think about how on earth they had managed to get all five of the fully grown men on such a small mat. It wasn't as if it was a game for adults either.

"Ahhhhhh!" Castiel yelled as his elbow buckled and he came crashing down on top of Adam. This was when everything went wrong.

As Adam got a face full of angel ass, Dean's legs were crushed and he let out a scream as his feet flew up at the other end. Due to the unfortunate position of Sam overtop of Dean's legs he was kicked in a less than comfortable place and came crashing down and into the still falling men. Gabriel was spluttering with furious laughter until Dean flailed and punched the man in the face resulting in him falling backwards and hitting his head on the hard, wood floor.

All the men moaned as they lay over and under each other in some sort of aching pain.

"I don't ever want to play that again," Castiel said as he continued to lie on the mat not wanting to move in fear that he may snap in two from having been in a crab position for so long.

"Agreed," they all muttered as they began to free themselves from the pile and walk off to their respective rooms to sleep. That was the most exciting day that they had had since the first week of arriving at the bunker and they were sad to say that the whole experience was tiring. It was a sad and pathetic day in the bunker.

**OoO**

"That was more painful than expected," Castiel said as he fell onto the bed in his shared room with Dean.

"You slipped on your coat didn't you?" Dean said as he laid his head on the pillow and ran his fingers gently through Castiel's hair.

"Yes," Castiel admitted with a slight smile as he realised that he really should have taken the coat off but it was too late for that now.

Dean laughed a little as he closed his eyes and waited for sleep. He was a little embarrassed at the fact that now he was completely exhausted. He was a hunter for goodness sake not some sort of prissy teen boy that couldn't keep going for longer than 5 minutes. Right now he just didn't care because in the back of his mind he knew that the peaceful boredom wasn't going to last long. The angels would find them; the demons would find them and they wouldn't be safe. He had to take advantage of these moments where he could just sit with Castiel or play stupid games with his family because soon –hopefully later- he would never be able to do that again. He would be once again on the run from creatures who were out for him and that was a time that he dreaded.

_Author Note: This turned out as a nice chapter because I wasn't really in the mood for some angst and you guys need a break with some happiness! Yaaaaaay! Happiness, I hope that you enjoy the change because you all know that it isn't going to last long. I apologise for that now._

_I would love to know what you thought so please leave me a review and tell me what you thought. If you are enjoying it and want an e-mail when I update then follow and/or favourite for that and I will give you extra love! _

_Thank you for sticking with me through this and I hope that all your lives are going well! xx_


	11. I Get What I Want

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: So this chapter is the start up of the proper storyline again after a couple of nice filler chapters about their time in the bunker._

_Special thanks to It's Steve Now (I'm glad I make you happy. They had to play Twister at some point and there didn't seem to be a better time to be quite honest!), doglady.1 (I only wrote to you yesterday but thank you so much again for the really nice reviews. I'm glad that you liked my Twister description and the Dean realization. They couldn't stay happy for too long. I'm a Moffat at heart! XD), Adam (You really are completely adorable and you are very welcome! I meant every word. I'm really happy for you two and I'm so glad that I have such awesome people reading and enjoying my story!), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (It's fine and I just hope that you get better soon. I'm really glad that you enjoyed that fluffiness! Unfortunately it doesn't last long... yeah...), DestielGirl (I wrote to you yesterday as well. Thank you a whole bunch for all of your awesome reviews because they all mean a lot to me. I love angst and fluff too which is probably why all my writing is like that! I'm glad that you are enjoying it!) and alicer718 (I noticed that you were reading them from the beginning and I thank you for doing so. I was sat reading and writing fanfiction all Sunday too. We are very alike you and me. I really hope that you continue to enjoy this story! Thank you so much for reviewing!) for the awesome reviews. You know that they all mean a lot!_

_I love you all and I hope that you enjoy this chapter! xx _

Chapter 11 – I Get What I Want

The past weeks, while bring, had seemed a great improvement when compared with their normal lives of chaos and death. They all seemed at peace and while they all fought sometimes it was because they were cooped up not because they actually despised each other. Even Dean and Adam were managing to get along to some degree and it was almost blissful.

Dean and Castiel were happy for the first time since he had got back. They had of course been thrilled to see each other and just being close again made them smile but up until the peace and quiet of the bunker they hadn't been truly happy. Having time together down in a place where there wasn't going to be any monster hunters cropping up or any danger of attacks made their relationship stronger and they loved it.

Every minute they were together they remembered something different that they loved about each other. The small quirks like when Castiel would tilt his head when something wasn't fully understood or the way that Dean would drum songs on tables and chairs whenever he was concentrating on something. Even these little things made everything seem better.

It wasn't just the couple that were happy.

Bobby had accepted that he couldn't help everyone with everything and he'd found another hobby to satisfy himself with in the meantime. He'd started woodwork with the wood kept at the back of the bunker originally for stakes but they wouldn't need those anytime soon. The first thing he had made was a decidedly wonky footstool but he had quickly improved and know everyone had footstools all different shapes and sizes and they were all near perfectly crafted. Bobby was more than pleased with himself.

The two other Winchesters had got themselves back into chess. With them both having aspired a further education and a university life they found that they had a lot in common and one of those things was chess. They both had been considered 'geeks' –which neither of them thought of as a necessarily bad thing- and they had both been brought into the chess club by friends and they were good. They had begun to learn to predict the amount of moves to checkmate and while they weren't right all the time they were doing pretty well over all.

Gabriel however, was finding it a little harder to find something to do. He was an archangel after all that had spend a large amount of time roaming the earth as he so pleases and giving people their 'just desserts' and he knew full well that there was no one fitting that description in the bunker. He had begun by playing stupid little pranks on the men but without his powers it took a lot of time to set up each one and many of them got found out. This meant that Gabriel found himself joining the other men's activities –not Dean and Castiel's however- rather than finding his own.

No one really minded that much because they had begun to realise that Gabriel was one of the only reasons that they were alive at that moment in time. The Winchesters weren't known for their manners but the archangel could tell that they were grateful and as long as he could see that he didn't care if they never said it out loud.

**OoO**

Dean was laid asleep; wrapped up in the angel's trench coat when he awoke. It was warm in the bunker and it always had been but this warmth was different and it was radiating from Castiel. The last time that he remembered him being that warm seemed like a long time ago. It was the time when they found him in the warehouse when Raphael got him. No angel could get anywhere near him though; could they?

**OoO**

The room was a pure white unlike any that Castiel had ever seen and it terrified him unlike any place he had ever been in. Something about the room struck something inside him and it scared him more than he could ever imagine. It scared him more than the prospect of death; more than leaving Dean; more than being sent to Hell again. It was pain and fear that seemed to cripple him inside and he didn't know why.

He tried to move but found that he was strapped to a white table with thick leather engraved straps. Enochian sigils were scattered across the bonds and Castiel couldn't move a single centimetre as he tried to leave. The fear was striking through him and some sort of distant memories were shooting through the back of his mind just out of reach as he desperately tried to get free.

"Castiel," a woman's voice sighed as tears threatened to spill over his eyes.

That voice. He knew that voice but where from. It cut harshly through his head and seemed to merge with his memories flying viciously around the back of his mind. The terror hit him harder as he turned to see the short brown-haired woman stood beside a trolley full of sharp and deadly instruments.

"What do you want?" Castiel muttered trying to keep the fear from slipping into his voice. He kept his expression as unemotional as possible and stared at her face no matter how scared he became.

"You really don't remember. This time it must have worked better because last time, well last time it all changed so quickly," she said with a chilled smile, "I was really disappointed in myself. I mean all the effort that I had put into that method and all the hours that I'd spent perfecting it were wasted because you and Balthazar still broke out of it. Very disappointing."

"What do you want?"

"Still as stupid as ever I see," she muttered picking up each object from the metal trolley and turning it over in her hand before replacing it, "You should be in the pit Castiel and we want you back down there. You're a bit more than an inconvenience when you are up here and frankly you benefit everyone down there. Ah, this is the one."

The woman turned to Castiel holding a thick handled object with a sharp point at one end. It glinted ominously in the light and Castiel gulped audibly as he looked at her in horror.

"Sister, you don't want to-"

"Don't call me that!" She shrieked as she pushed her hands to his shoulders and looked him right in the eyes, "You stopped being our family as soon as you left with them; as soon as you stopped fighting for us and turned to them. You did it not us!"

Castiel looked at the hate in her eyes and turned his face away. He didn't understand what he had done to make this woman so angry with him. He knew that all of his family showed anger towards him but she was going further than anyone else and he somehow knew that he must have had a past with her. She had so much pent up rage towards him.

"If you just surrender Gabriel and yourself to us then none of this has to happen okay?" She said with a fake smile etched onto her face, "So I'm going to ask you this once nicely, where are you hidden?"

Fear built up inside Castiel as he heard her question and a faint memory echoed through his mind of pain and fear.

"_You will obey Michael!"_

"No," he said in a quieter voice than he had first anticipated before shouting back louder, "No!"

"Oh Castiel, you would have thought that you'd learn from the other times but then again you always were stubborn," She strut around him and gripped the sharp spike in her hand. She brought it right up to his head and held the tip of the cold metal to his temple, "Want to tell me now. I'm going to warn you Castiel that I always get what I want so why don't you just tell me now and save yourself the suffering?"

"N-no," Castiel stuttered looking up into her blue-grey eyes and holding back the fear expanding inside him. Somehow he knew what was coming before it even did and even though he knew he couldn't help but let out a soul-ripping scream as she drove the spike into his head.

"Oh Cassie, I always get _exactly _what I want."

_Author Note: So that was that. Cliff hanger; you know that I love those. I've been especially evil recently in quite a few of my stories...hmmmmm... _

_I haven't been feeling particularly great today because my sister gave me her headachey, coldy, coughy, thingy and I've had three tests that I didn't do too well in today.. I just couldn't concentrate. It's a good job that they weren't the real thing because otherwise I would be stuffed! I tried my best but I apologise if there are lots of mistakes or if it isn't as good as usual. Really, REALLY sorry about that if that is the case._

_I would love to know what you all thought of this chapter so ppppllllleeeeaaaasssseeeee leave a review telling me because it would make me smile. If you like this story, follow and/or favourite it to get an e-mail when I update. _

_Extra thing: I'm uploading the first chapter of an angsty JohnLock story that's going to be called 'A Seemingly Endless Sleep' on Thursday and if you like Sherlock I would love it if you could check that out! Anywho, I'll leave you be now. Until Saturday! xx_


	12. Torturing The Mind

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: This chapter contains angst and mentions of pain and blood. I've never previously warned you I just sort of felt like it today! XD_

_Special thanks to doglady.1 (It really is but it has to be written you know. I feel a little bad now XD I'm really glad that you enjoy my cliff-hangers, I try so hard to produce maximum torture for my readers. XD), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (I'm so glad that you enjoy this story and I really hope that you continue to enjoy it!), DestielGirl (I'm so glad that I managed to make you happy. Tell me how your play was yeah? The internet blankets and tea were really nice thank you! XD When you get further into season 8 you'll understand the body on earth and heaven thingy. I'm so glad that you are enjoying this and I really do love your reviews!), Prongs Smith (Really?! That's incredible thank you so much! That really does mean the world to me! I love to play with people feels *cackles manically* It was really nice to hear from you!), It's Steve Now (Well that sucks that you took the characters away but I will always find them again... always! I'm really glad that you are still enjoying this story!) and Fanfiction's cutest couple: Adam and Maggie (I love you guys too much, you are completely adorable! XD You guys moving in together is amazing news! *throws epic internet new home party* I've never been to Paris but that sounds awesome and I really hope that you both enjoy it! I won't be writing in April as you will find out properly in my author note below! :( I'm so glad that you are both continuing to enjoy this. You are great!) for the amazing reviews that always manage to make me smile and maybe cry a little bit with happiness. _

_I really hope that you enjoy this chapter! xx_

Chapter 12 – Torturing The Mind

"Hey Cass," Dean muttered turning over to face the angel who was currently radiating a sweltering heat, "Are you okay?"

No reply came.

"Cass?"

Dean sat up in the bed and saw that the angel was rigid. His face was scrunched and all of his body was tensed; he looked as if he was made of metal with painted features. Everything was hard and all of it read immense pain. Yet there was no sound.

"Gabriel!" Dean yelled jumping from the bed and running down the corridor towards the main room in which Gabriel always sat. Normally he would be calling Sam or Bobby but he knew full well that they could do absolutely nothing for him in this circumstance. Gabriel was the only one who could help or a t least tell him what was wrong.

**OoO**

Gabriel was sat silently on the table with a laptop in front of him when he heard Dean yelling his name. That was how he knew that something was wrong because the oldest Winchester would never be calling him unless it was something bad, horrifically bad.

"Gabriel!" Dean's voiced rang as he skidded into the room wearing only his boxers, "It's Cass. He's heating up, he's tense, I don't know what to do but I swear if it's the Raphael son of a bitch again I'm going to rip his throat out!"

"Get in line!" Gabriel growled as he ran ahead of the Winchester and into their room where Castiel was laid in the same position as before, "Cassie?"

No response.

"Cassie?" Gabriel said looking over his brother's body for any sign that an angel had got to him. He had done everything and he meant everything to keep the angel's away from his brother. He had activated every warding sigil as soon as they had entered the bunker for every single thing that could possibly come calling on them. Demons wouldn't get within a mile of the place and an angel could never find it on any map ever created. Even the maps scribed by Metatron from God's own word wouldn't hold their position. Lucifer couldn't get in and neither could Michael. Raphael wouldn't even dare.

"Everyone should be safe!" Gabriel yelled throwing his arms across the top of the chest of drawers flinging this to the other side of the room, "I did everything to keep them safe father! Why is this happening?!"

Dean stood and watched the archangel breakdown and realised how similar they were. An absent father caused them to both grow up too fast and to look after their younger brother. They were both so close to their family and had lumbered themselves with the task of looking after them.

"What's wrong with him?" Dean mumbled after the archangel had turned back to Castiel.

He pulled his hair back with one hand and looked at Castiel's body laying still and silent on the bed, "I don't know but whoever's doing it is going to pay with their life."

**OoO**

Ancient Enochian spewed from the youngest angel's mouth as the spike was pushed further into his skull. Pain was flooding his face with every second as his couldn't stop the words from pouring into the air around him.

"I know all of this!" she shouted looking at the angel with concentration on her face, "We all know this. I just need to know where you are. You can save us both a lot of pain if you just tell me."

She ripped the spike from his head and the Enochian stopped and was replaced with pained cries. Castiel was unable to speak as indescribable pain coursed through his body. Every part of him hurt as he just wished to die but death never came for him.

"Tell me!" She screamed her words clipped as she stared at the angel laid on the slab in front of her. His shirt was stained with blood that had wound down his face from the hole in his head; sweat dripped and mingled with the sticky liquid as it pooled by his neck, "Tell me and this could all be over."

Castiel struggled to swallow as he attempted to stutter an answer, "N-nu-no. I w-wu-will ne-never tell y-yu-you."

She sighed deeply and her face twisted in withdrawn anger, "Castiel. Are you sure you want to play this game? If you wait too long then your mind will be altered beyond recognition and we don't want that do we?"

The woman began to circle the table; ignoring the fearful and pained whimpers escaping the angel's mouth and twirling the dripping tool between her fingers, "We can't kill Sam or Adam; we can't even kill your boyfriend no matter how much pleasure we would get out of it. Michael needs those boys alive and we are in no place to defy him. We'll only get you and Gabriel and then we'll leave."

"I'm n-nu-not t-" Castiel stuttered before he let out another scream as she plummeted the spike into his head at another point.

"You will tell us Castiel, you don't have a choice! One way or another you will tell us where you are or this will go on forever," She said dangerously until the shouts stopped all of a sudden and Castiel's eyes flung open, "Now we are getting somewhere."

A slow smile crept onto her face as Castiel opened his mouth to talk through his most recent memories.

**OoO**

The two men stood over the angel; their hearts crippling as they looked at a person they both loved in such pain and neither of them knew why.

"Nothing can get in here and he's so far from heaven that none of our family can contact him. It doesn't make any sense," Gabriel said, his voice full of untold pain and sadness.

"Can't archangels get passed that or something?" Dean said not taking his eyes off the still figure of Castiel on the bed.

"No," Gabriel sighed putting a hand on Castiel's before something dawned on him; a horrible thought that he didn't even want to consider was true no matter how much he believed it was, "Naomi."

Dean lifted his head at Gabriel's words and looked to him for an answer to a name that he'd never heard before, "Naomi?"

"It was all her; all of it that bitch!" Gabriel yelled turning to look back at Castiel, "Oh Cassie."

Gabriel looked tortured as he sat down next to Castiel and rested his hand on top of Castiel's once more.

"Who is Naomi and what has she got to do with Cass?" Dean said warily fearing that he didn't want to know the answer.

"She's an angel, if you can still consider her that. Her faith was too strong -much like Lucifer- but she went down a separate path of control and mind bending. She saw everyone else as unfaithful and after I left heaven I feared that she would used all the research she had done since God's leave to alter them all. When my siblings came upon the earth a couple of years ago my suspicions were confirmed as they were all following blindly. It hurts more that you can even imagine, having her inside your head. She never went inside mine but even the instruments that she developed were horrific enough to stay back. No one even stands a chance of keeping anything from her. If it is her that has Castiel then I don't know what he'll be like when he gets back; if he gets back."

Dean slumped onto the opposite side of the bed and put his head in his hands. They were never going to be left alone.

"Cassie?" Gabriel said as the angel's body became limp on the bed and his breath filter through his lips. He was stirring and both the men were grateful but incredibly anxious. They didn't what to think about the possibility of him being changed because Castiel was perfect as he was.

Castiel opened his eyes suddenly and blinked as tears meandered down his cheeks, "I tried to stop her."

"It's okay," Gabriel cooed sitting him up and looking at him careful, "Who was it? What happened?"

"I didn't tell her myself," he continued to mumble as Dean got hold of his hand and stroked it, "She hurt me Gabriel and I couldn't do anything, nothing. I'm so sorry."

"Cass," Dean said as Castiel's eyes turned towards him, "Who did this?"

"She had brown hair and I recognised her but I didn't know who she was. I swear I didn't," Castiel said desperately as if he thought that they didn't believe him.

Gabriel nodded at Dean and his head fell into his hands.

"And, she's coming."

_Author Note: So that chapter happened..._

_Stuff to tell you:_

_Sky Living have dropped Supernatural in the UK so currently we won't have Supernatural! I found this out today and I'm soooooo sad. You suck Sky and I would hiatus but you've got Criminal Minds and Elementary and I can't live without my good bit of murder... yeah... Luckily, CW are thinking that E4 will take it and show it there which will save my sanity and it will be awesome! I look forward to seeing Supernatural of E4!_

_I have been role-playing for ages now and I'm having soooooooo much fun! I'm Sherlock and it's fantabulicious! There is JohnLock and some Docstiel (The Doctor and Castiel... Don't ask why but it just sort of works... I don't really understand myself. XD) and it is completely amazing. Just a life update there. XD_

_Sadly I have my GCSE's this year. These are the big exams that you do when you are in year 11 in England and they are a BIG deal! This means that as of the beginning of the April/Easter term holidays I have to stop writing to give myself time to revise. This means that you guys only have about 4 chapters before I go on hiatus. If it was possible to continue I would but I really can't. I'm completely exhausted and I have to be awake and alert for my tests. I just hope to see you all on the other side in July. My exams go on for so long!_

_Anyway, I really hope that you have enjoyed this chapter and that you continue to enjoy this story as much as you seem to be doing because I really do love writing! I'll see you all on Tuesday. I love you all soooooooooo much! Byeeeeeeee. xx_


	13. She's Coming

_Finding Our Love Again_

_Author Note: Special thanks to doglady.1 (I know, I feel the same and I'm writing their poor story! :( Things can't always work out though because then there wouldn't be a story!), RainyDays-and-DayDreams (I wish I had a chance to catch up on sleep! XD I'm glad that you are enjoying this and thank you for the luck!), DestielGirl (I'm so glad that your play went well! I have my play for my exam on the 8__th__ of May *nervous jiggle*I really needed my shock blanket because I was in some serious shock! I'm so glad that you are enjoying them all and I hope that you continue to! The luck is most appreciated!), alicer718 (It's really sad isn't it?! Thanks for the support and I'm glad that you are enjoying this story!), It's Steve Now (You are more than welcome and I'm really glad that you liked it! I write for you guys after all!) and Adam and Maggie (Hi again you two! I really do love you guys. Your reviews just keep getting longer and longer! I DON'T ACTUALLY NO HOW I'M GOING TO LIVE WITHOUT IT! I NEEEEEEEEEED SUPERNATURAL! *SSSSSOOOOOOBBBBBSSSSSS* Anywho, Cosplay! I love Cosplay and I'm so ready for me and her to Cosplay together, it's going to be great! Squuueeeeeee! Adam, you are the only one for her don't forget! ;) Ew being recognised by people... I'm so glad that will never happen to me XD OMFG I get to choose your pet...hmmmmmm. Well, if you get a dog you can call it Crowley and if you get a cat then you can call it Castiel. If you have loads of space inside and outside as well as loads of free time then a dog is good. If you have little space and you want something to snuggle with while marathoning then a cat is good. I'm a cat person so I'd say cat. You should get a laid back one because otherwise it might scratch you and it won't sit on you. I'm gonna say cat! I love you both so much! I would love to see a picture whatever you get if you can PM me or something that would be great! I hope that you enjoy your episode of Supernatural!) for the amazing reviews that keep me going every week! _

_Thank you all so much and I hope that you enjoy this chapter and the other ones to come! xx _

Chapter 13 – She's Coming

"She's coming?" Gabriel muttered suddenly looking terrified as if those two words were the most horrific thing that he'd ever heard, "She can't get in, she can't.

"She knows where we are Gabriel, she knows," Castiel stuttered crying down the front of the man's shirt, "I told her everything, everything. She knows where we are; what we've been doing; how I've been feeling; everything!"

"It's not your fault," Dean pushed looking at the hysterical angel hanging on to his brother on the bed, "We can sort this out Cass."

"We can't do anything. She's too strong Dean. She made me tell her everything about you all and I couldn't do a thing to stop her; I couldn't even consider it and it hurt Dean. It hurt so much," Castiel babbled looking at the hunter with terrified eyes that Dean had never seen before.

Gabriel got off the bed and walked out of the room and slammed the door. He couldn't watch his brother break down in front of him like that and he wouldn't let him suffer. Even as Castiel sat in that room Naomi was up there somewhere controlling everything he was saying, everything he was doing because once she was inside she never left.

"Gabriel?" Sam said as he walked into the room with a worried expression covering his face, "What's going on?"

"Someone got to Castiel. We have to leave Samsquatch, they're after us and they won't stop until they get what they want and when we don't know what that is it's hard to decide what exactly there is to do," Gabriel said brushing his hair from his face with two hands.

Sam looked to the angel, "Whatever it is we aren't giving it to them and that's all that matters right. No matter what or who they are asking for we don't give it to them; that is all that we need to know. So, where are we going this time?"

Gabriel sighed deeply and looked at the tall man, "I don't know, there isn't really anywhere to go. Wherever we want to go we can be tracked because she has Castiel and we aren't leaving him."

Sam sighed and spun around thinking of places that they could go to hide from the angels. Nowhere sprung to mind and a sinking feeling grew in his chest which he struggled to push down. Everything seemed hopeless and while he knew that Gabriel had done everything to protect the bunker from everything that could be after them he all of a sudden didn't feel completely safe.

**OoO**

Castiel was hysterical and it was breaking Dean's heart.

When they had first met it was safe to say that he was unemotional to the point that Dean could see something horrific must have happened. His blank expression seemed to hide something deep behind it that even Castiel didn't seem to know and it had affected him to such a degree that he didn't want to feel anything again.

However, every time that they saw him he was changing. He had begun to side more with them than the angels and he seemed to have dropped a rank as Uriel began to give orders that Castiel followed with unspoken questions. Everything seemed to be changing within him and it got worse as he helped the Winchesters over his family.

Dean didn't know how he'd managed to go against them after having such blind faith the first time. He'd had enough faith to dive into Hell and retrieve a man whom he didn't know the significance was. He could have died in there, alone and scared, but he leapt right in.

As soon as he was hunted by Raphael and they became a couple things progressed quicker as he began to learn what happiness was. Everything seemed to be improving until Zachariah came and destroyed it with one flick of his wrist. Nothing was the same afterwards. They seemed happy but nightmares stalked through their heads and unanswered questions rung through the silence at night.

Now, seeing Castiel laid on bed in fits, Dean wished that he'd never changed the angel because if he hadn't then he would be struggling through such great pain at that moment on the bed.

Dean collected Castiel into his arms and breathed into his dark, tasselled hair, rocking him gently trying to sooth him and keep him still and close. That was all that seemed necessary to him at that moment; keeping Castiel safe because he loved him and it was too late to go back on anything now. Dean wasn't sure but even knowing what was going to happen now, he would still tell Castiel how he felt because he couldn't live without being able to hold Castiel in his arms and hum softly to him.

"Dean?" Castiel said as his voice became steadier as he rocked in Dean's arms, "I'm so sorry."

"Shh," Dean muttered holding him and kissing the top of his head, "You have nothing to apologise for because it isn't your fault."

"It's happened before Dean. She made me forget my best friend and follow Michael in whatever he said was right. She made me believe that God was still there but it was all a lie. He wouldn't leave me like this Dean and he would let all these terrible things happen to you because you have done nothing wrong."

Tears wound down his face as he thought about everything that had happened recently and all the changes that he had been through. It was all thanks to Dean that the world wasn't crumbling around them at the moment. It was all thanks to Dean that he wasn't sat without remorse as he watched human plummet to their deaths. It was all thanks to Dean that he had somewhere to belong and he wasn't amongst his family; they didn't care about him, about anyone.

"She's done it to us all Dean," he murmured burying his face in Dean's chest and trying to block out the pounding at the back of his head. It ticked like a countdown and he knew that at the end of it Naomi would come and take away everything that he cared about.

**OoO**

Sam paced around the main room and heard Castiel's cries dwindle to muffled sobs as he tried to desperately think of a solution.

"I can't think of anything," Gabriel muttered looking at Sam with confusion and hopelessness clouding his vision, "Everything I can think of involves leaving someone and I can't do it."

"Why don't I stay?" Sam suggested looking at Gabriel. He opened his mouth but Sam looked at him, "No, think about it. They need me to be Lucifer for their big game of apocalypse so they can't kill me because Lucifer would just bring me back. If I distract them then you can get away and I'll find you later. It's going to work."

"I'm not leaving you," Gabriel muttered turning away, "We have to think of something else."

It was then that the ticking in Castiel's head stopped and the rattling of the door from the wind outside fell silent.

"Oh Cassie, Gabe. I know that you're in there."

_Author Note: Ahhhhhhhh Naomi. I seriously hate this girl sooooooo much! Rawr!_

_Anywho, I'm super tired and I have a headache again so I'm sorry if there are even more mistakes or is it's just crap. I've been RPing and there are demons now. John and Sherlock kissed and it's all been very exciting. I want to thank you all for the really nice support that you've given me for my exams, I can do this!_

_Anyway... review, favourite and follow if you enjoyed this chapter. I would love to know what you thought and I want to say that I love you all an incredible amount! Thank you for continuing with this story! xx_


	14. Note

_Note_

This note is being put up on all four of the stories that I've got going at the moment because I have decided that I really should be revising so unfortunately I won't be writing until July.

These exams mean a lot and while I love writing my stories and I love reading all of your comments I'm completely exhausted. This means that I'm not working to the best of my abilities at school and during a time when it matters the most that really isn't good.

Unfortunately that means writing this note to your all and telling you that you're going to have to wait for 3 months –sorry about that but they really do drag on- to find out what happens next. I realise that most of my stories are on a major cliff-hanger but it really can't be helped. I'm really sorry.

I hope to see you all when I return in July and I just want to say thank you for following this story and any of my other ones that you have followed or the one-shots that I have read. Writing is something that I really enjoy doing and knowing that people really enjoy it just makes it all the better for me! Thank you and I'll write to you all in July! Xx

~BritishSweden


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